BC

What I do

2012-02-16T19:17:00.000-06:00

It is very common in academia to hear, "So what do you study?" More common in public circles is, "So what do you do?" More often than not, in public, I just say that I'm a doctoral student, maybe adding that I'm in education. It's confusing for some people, who think I'm becoming a teacher or a principal. The idea of educational research, which is primarily what I'm being prepared for, is evidently quite foreign to a lot of people. I usually tell them I'm becoming a professor, to teach future secondary schoolteachers. But in truth, there's a lot more to it than that.

Officially, I'm in a Language, Literature, and Culture specialization. This is motivated by my background as a secondary English teacher and a desire to prepare such teachers for today's schools. I never went through a formal teacher education program, but like many folks who did and still others who did master's licensing programs, I didn't find the classes I did have to take all that helpful. Even when they were especially practical, like classes on curriculum and instruction, what I learned was so abstracted from the realities of the classroom that I could transfer very little beyond the theoretical frameworks presented for teaching and learning.

Which takes me to where I am now. My primary interests are in teacher education, especially preservice teacher education programs -- those that target undergraduate students, not yet teaching, who are preparing to be teachers, ideally in public schools. I am especially interested in preservice teachers who want to teach in culturally and linguistically diverse classrooms and/or in urban settings, though I think I have something to offer those who believe they will teach in very homogenous school settings as well. Much of what I am interested in is what's called "social foundations" of education -- the systemic and institutional factors that impact classroom teaching. In particular, I am interested those factors that relate to certain kinds of diversity -- race, ethnicity, language, gender, geography, religion, sexual orientation, and dis/ability. I want to better prepare teachers to go into classrooms with a wide range of diversity their student population. I want them to learn to look at students' diversity as a resource rather than a deficit and learn how to use it to support learning. I want to help all teachers learn how to enact multicultural curriculum in their classrooms, the kinds that prepare people to live in the pluralistic democracy we inhabit and, ostensibly, wish to sustain. This is the work that I do.

What I study right now is small interventions that can be put in place to help preservice teachers prepare for the contextual, situational, personal work that is part of good teaching and disproportionately beneficial to students from traditionally underserved populations. I'm studying a lot in medical education, trying to look at how they prepare future clinicians to be (what they term) culturally proficient in meeting the needs of an increasingly diverse patient population. I want to learn what, if anything, can be re-appropriated into teacher education, and perhaps also be of service to those in medical education seeking to take a qualitative look at their work. I will likely do much of my work in secondary English classrooms and teacher education programs because that's where I'm most knowledgeable, but I really want to find things in my work that transcend subject matter and are useful to teachers at different grade levels and in different disciplines. I imagine that much of my work for my dissertation will focus on allowing teachers to practice the difficult conversations around diversity that come with teaching -- providing a safe, supportive environment for what Erickson calls "deliberate practice." I am a qualitative researcher, someone who says, "Yes, I am a part of the study. Let me tell you why that matters." I don't pretend to be objective, and I don't think quantitative research (at least in education) is objective either. Qualitative researchers just happen to acknowledge it. I'm interested in moving towards a standard for more rigorous qualitative research such that it's taken more seriously in the field of education, something that's deemed relevant to policy makers who so consistently prefer the numbers (though they ignore most of those, too, to be honest). I especially want to do that for research on preparing culturally and linguistically responsive teachers, a corpus of research often overlooked in the educational world.

So if you ever wondered what I do, or more specifically what I study, this is it. I think it's interesting. I think it's important. I think it's wildly challenging. But I'm also proud of what I've committed my career to. And I sincerely hope that I can make a meaningful contribution, of whatever size, in the course of it.

Fit

2012-02-12T14:34:00.001-06:00

For the last few months, I've been losing it -- weight, that is. Towards the end of November, a mom friend and I began walking at Edwin Warner Park, often with the kids, and I figured it was as good a reason as any to try and lose the extra weight and inches that were keeping me out of my pre-pregnancy pants. Some of it was weight I hadn't lost after my pregnancy with Emme, and some of it was weight I had started to put on because of little exercise and poor eating habits. I lost a lot of weight after my pregnancy with Oliver -- around 30 pounds -- and for the first time in as long as I could remember, I kind of liked the way I looked. I didn't gain much with Emme, but I didn't put a lot of work into losing the pregnancy pounds after she was born. And so by fall, I was starting to not fit into some of my "loose" pants. And that wasn't a good sign.

And so I started with food. I cut calories quickly, trying to get used to a lower-calorie diet, and focused on that more than exercise. I went walking periodically, but it was a plus, not the main focus. I managed that pretty well for about a month -- focusing on what I ate, how much, and how often. I stopped the "grazing" that often happened when I worked from home, ate more salads, and cut out basically all soda. I also switched to unsweetened tea and started drinking a lot more water. One thing that really helped me was also focusing on how I felt. I've always had digestive issues -- everything from horrible abdominal pain to a perpetually unsettled stomach to bloating and constipation. But I feel better when I eat better and don't consume too much fat. So if I can just remind myself of that when I'm tempted by, say, cake, I can keep my diet under control.

With a better fix on what I was eating, I slowly switched over to exercise. I started with walking, and walking lots of steep hills. Then I started jogging. Just 2-3 miles at first, on a flat surface, alternating walking and running until I could go a bit further. I have done some running in the past. When I was studying abroad in Germany, I did a 30k (around 19 miles) in the Swiss Alps and lots of running in preparation. But I haven't done that kind of running since. Since then, I've gotten in much better shape and now run a faster 3-6 miles and can run confidently up to around 10 miles. I'm doing the half-marathon here in Nashville come late April, just as a fun activity to motivate my miles. I've been swimming a few times, which is good for my joints but harder to find time for. We actually bought a treadmill (and a TV and Blu-Ray player) in early January and installed the whole "workout room" in our garage so that I'm able to run even when the kids are home and resting. (Wes uses it, too, but has problems with his knees, especially the one that is missing the meniscus.) I run while I watch movies, which makes me feel healthier, more energized, and somehow also like I had fun! I also run outside when the weather and time permits, but the "workout room" makes it easier to be more consistent.

So I'm slowly getting more fit. I'd still like to increase strength in my upper body and core and reduce the fat right at my belly (which I'm not sure I can entirely blame on the babies). The big payoff is that all of my clothes now fit and look a lot nicer when I wear them. I'm not someone to put a lot of importance on a number like weight, but it is important to me that I like how I look, feel good, and can keep up with kids. That said, I'm happy to say that I've lost 11.5 pounds in the last 12 weeks and am officially at my pre-pregnancy weight. I don't have any particular goal to lose more but hope that I can keep up my fitness regimen and healthy diet for the duration.

The new Walmart

2012-02-12T14:12:00.002-06:00

The "brand new" Walmart just a mile from
the house. This was opening weekend.

Oliver picked out a big ball for him and
Emme. He, I should not, chose the color.

Some of Walmart's finest wares.

Tidbits #2

2012-02-12T14:09:00.002-06:00

Heard: "I'm a keen, mom," said Oliver the other morning. "A keen?" I reply in confusion. "Yes, keen. A-s-t-u-v-w-x-y-z...keen." (He actually was telling me that he was a king.)
Looking forward: To Spring Break in three weeks. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
Staying: Inside. It was 19 degrees this morning and snowed yesterday. But hey, it's supposed to 60 by the end of the week!
Read: A lot of Plato. I'm not sure what to make of him (or Sophocles, I guess) except that I have to read it very slowly.
Enjoying: The kids' Christmas portraits on the wall in our bedroom. Finally up.
Planning: The First Annual Self Family Mouth of Wilson Retreat for mid-June. We've found a cabin right near Grayson Highlands and, except for the approximately eight-hour drive there, are very much looking forward to it.
Wondering: How to get Oliver to take a nap at home on the weekends. He gets so tired, but even with considerable coaxing, I can't get him to sleep. For the moment, he's "resting" while watching Charlotte's Web; Emme is asleep in the crib (and Wes at a shift).
Found out: I'm getting a new nephew come June -- hurray!

Tidbits

2012-01-28T19:43:00.001-06:00

Heard: When I took Oliver to daycare Monday morning, he hung up his raincoat and immediately went over to his lead teacher, Ms. Ginnette, and told her that we slept in the basement last night. In fact, we woke the kids up around 1:15 AM and kept them with us in our bedroom and, briefly, in the basement, while tornadoes passed through the area. I have to believe that we will eventually learn to ignore the sirens, but we're not there yet. In other concerns, I have no idea what else Oliver tells Ginnette about what happens at our house and what she makes of all of it.
Read: In an article by Ryan Lizza from The New Yorker about Obama as a post-post-partisan politician: "According to Poole and Rosenthal’s data, both the House and the Senate are more polarized today than at any time since the eighteen-nineties." This saddens me.
Enjoyed: 55 degrees and warmer in January.
Made: Creamy chicken noodle soup in my Crock Pot. Chocolate chip cookies with Oliver, in which we used milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and semi-sweet chocolate chips. Oliver learned the joy of picking up brown sugar from the counter on his finger to eat and, after I told him he sample any more chocolate chips, exclaimed in pure delight when one or two "jumped out of" the mixing bowl. Then some BBQ pork sliders today (also in the Crock Pot).
Ran: Almost 9 miles today. I watched Two Weeks in Hell, a series about the Green Beret selection process, while I ran. Very motivating.
Spent: Thursday with Emme, who had to stay home because of pink eye. It's so much more fun to stay home with a kid who is "sick" but not ill than one who is just completed wiped out from an illness. That is, I had much more fun at home with this week than last week, when she was home for two days (one with a sitter while I went to a full day of classes) with a stomach bug.
Feeling: Like my cold symptoms will never go away -- I've been fighting sinus headaches for the last two days, mixed in with a cough some nights just for fun. This is all residual, I think, from a nasty cold I got from the kids back at the end of December.
Wondering: If my friend Kim will hear soon about her PhD acceptance. I wouldn't wish this madness on anyone, yet still hope she gets in!
Can't wait: To find out in the next couple of days if I'm going to get a niece or another nephew. Either will be just fine, so long as I'm the favorite aunt.

Hurray

2012-01-22T19:26:00.002-06:00

Glad to know there's some sense left in this world. The consumers have spoken! (Scroll to the bottom of the link to see what I'm talking about.)

Be-cous(in)

2012-01-13T19:25:00.002-06:00

Over the winter holidays, the kids and Wes and I spent a few days at my parents' house in Georgia with my younger sister, Laura. It was good to see my parents, but it was especially nice to visit with Laura since we hadn't seen each other (and she hadn't seen the kids) since this summer. More importantly, I hadn't seen her in person since I found out she was pregnant. Yes, let me say that again -- my little sister (who is growing less little by the day) is now 16 plus weeks pregnant with my niece or nephew. I don't mind saying that when Laura told me she was pregnant, I literally screamed at the top of my lungs. I think the kids thought I was crazy, jumping around the living room.

I have waited a long, long time to get to see my sister pregnant. And I don't mean the last 16 or so weeks. I won't share Laura's story here, because it's her story to tell, but I don't think she would mind me saying that it's not a short one. But happily, her story is now a chapter in a longer tale, one that will, hopefully, result in a baby in late June.

It's my blog, and I'll brag if I want to

2011-12-25T19:56:00.001-06:00

These are the pictures I had done of the kids as a Christmas gift for Wes. We had talked about putting some in our newly redone bedroom, so I just took the plunge and did it. I thought we got a few nice pictures from our previous efforts, but nothing truly amazing, so this was a two-hour shoot, in a studio, with a friend who I knew would do a good job. And boy did he. Aren't my kids gorgeous?

Wes got me tickets to the Grand Ole Opry for a night in February. His mom is going to keep the kids so we can do dinner beforehand. (Oh, and a Tempurpedic pillow just like one he has :)

Sleep tight

2011-12-23T19:47:00.002-06:00

Several months later, here's our new bedroom!

And a little more

2011-12-23T19:34:00.001-06:00

Here's what happens when Wes finally gets into the Christmas spirit.

We bought our little tree on Thursday night -- and I shouldn't say bought, since the guy at the register gave it to us for free. He said they were going to throw them all out in two days anyway! The kids were too tired to decorate that night, so we waited until this morning. We left the more fragile ornaments put away but included some of my mom's snowflakes to fill it out. Wes also decided that we needed more lights up (something I'd suggested last week, but I guess he wasn't ready yet). It looks cute, it didn't take too much work, and Oliver is really enjoying it. My guess is that we're establishing some traditions here -- decorating later in the month (which makes sense, since I'll pretty much always be finishing a semester mid-December), doing a tree closer to the date, and so forth. I think it's just what works for us, at least for now.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...finally!

2011-12-19T14:53:00.002-06:00

It's hard to see, but we have a Little People nativity in the middle.
Grandma Kay brought the kids a Grinch (good on one side, bad on the other)
on Saturday, so that's up there now, too.

Oliver helped me put the snowflakes up,
and he really likes the jingle bells on the door.

Four weeks

2011-12-13T20:08:00.001-06:00

Today marks the first day of my winter break. I turned in my last paper yesterday afternoon, and while I have some meetings this week, I'm out of homework and deadlines mode. Spring semester begins on January 9, with my first class the next day. That's four full weeks to, well, do a lot -- but still, it's a break from the pace of the last fifteen weeks or so. I have some things to do related to my research and my spring course. The house desperately needs cleaned, and I do want to put up a few Christmas decorations. I've been trying to lose some weight recently (4.5 lbs. in two weeks! -- only 2 more to my first goal, which I'd hoped to reach by Christmas), so I want to get out for some good walks and maybe some jogging. And of course, I want to sit with my husband and kids with no sense of needing to get time by myself to finish some reading or paper. I think four weeks will be just enough time to do all of that for at least a little bit before starting what may be my busiest semester yet.

This marks the end of my sixth semester of graduate school -- three for my master's program in twelve months, then three more in my doctorate program over the last 18 months. I have just two more semesters of classes -- this time next year, I should be celebrating the end of my coursework -- and I'm just maybe starting to believe that, at some point, I may actually finish this program and get my PhD.

For now, though, I'm celebrating what I've accomplished so far -- and resting up for what's left.

In Chicago

2011-11-07T12:44:00.001-06:00

I had a very pleasant trip to Chicago back at the first of the month. I went to present at a conference, my very first conference presentation of my own original research. The conference was good, and I got to meet lots of "famous" educational researchers and community activists. But I also got to be in Chicago. I'd just traveled up the week before with Wes and Oliver, but this was a little different. I stayed at a hotel just a block from where our first apartment had been, got off at the El stop we'd used almost every day while we lived there, and was able to "do the town" like I used to -- without children. I missed the kids, and I certainly wished Wes were there with me, but I was excited about being in the city with the freedom to go wherever I chose.

The weather while I was there was, well, Chicago-like. Very windy and rainy the first day -- the kind of day when an umbrella is of no use. The second was cold but clear and only breezy. The third was sunny and temperate if not a little warm for early November. But even the wind, even the rain, especially the cold felt familiar. It made me feel like I was home. Chicago is a place that, no matter how long I'm gone, feels so welcoming when I come back, as though I was never gone. I've not felt that way about anywhere else I've lived, and I've lived a lot of places.

I dined at a few nice places, a few past favorites. I browsed some shops and brought small gifts home for the kids (a Tigger t-shirt for Ollie, some Cookie Monster pajamas for Emme). I had tea at Argo Tea. I had coffee at one of the million Starbucks in the city. I had a glass of wine with dinner. I carried out from a new restaurant next to my old building.

So Chicago was great. I love the city. I'll go there every chance I get. But the biggest thing I felt while I was in Chicago -- was a readiness to go home. One that grew so much that I blew off the sunny and temperate final day, which I had completely free to do as I pleased, and flew home early to spend the day with Wes and the kids. Wes and I both readily acknowledge that moving back to the city might be great, but it won't be the same as when we lived there before -- downtown, no kids, lots of freedom. And we wouldn't want to go back to that time in our lives given the chance. I, for one, am much happier now in life than I was then. So it's not that we don't think it wouldn't be wonderful, but that we have to remember that it would be different. That the things we did and loved might not be easy to do or as fun with little people in tow. That doesn't mean we wouldn't consider returning, but just that we want to be realistic with our expectations. Regardless, this trip reminded me that part of what makes traveling fun -- what makes a return trip to a town you love so fun -- is having people to be excited with you. My conference trip was good, but I would say I had much more fun walking really slowly around town with Oliver the week before, watching his awe at the city. So while I love being in Chicago, I love being with my family -- wherever they may be -- much, much more.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...already?

2011-11-02T22:06:00.001-05:00

I don't know if it's just this year or I somehow didn't notice it last year, but Christmas seems to have come to our area really early this year. I was in a drug store the other day listening to Christmas carols play, and couldn't believe it. There's tartan plaid dresses in the kids' clothing stores, and Santa reportedly arrived at Cool Springs Galleria this weekend. Folks, it's November. Not even the middle of November. Thanksgiving is as early as it ever can be this year, so why is Christmas here so early?

I'm guessing it has something to do with the economy or stimulus something, but it's just nuts to me. It was warm, almost balmy out today, though windy with lots of crunchy leaves. That makes it fall -- which is not Christmas season. At my house growing up, we would put up the Christmas tree and decorate on my mother's birthday, which is the last day of November. That was the same day we would make our paper Christmas chain to count down the days to the holiday, one link for each day. In Wes's house, it wasn't time for Christmas until after his birthday, December 17 -- or from my experience at his house, sometimes Christmas Eve!

I haven't decided what Christmas will be like this year, except that we will be home. Wes works into Christmas Eve (on an overnight) and then the 26th and 27th. We might travel to my parent's house for a visit thereafter, but probably not before. We haven't decided about a Christmas tree. Emme is at a very dangerous age to put one up without constant supervision. I did just get her stocking in the mail, though, so the whole family will be represented on the hearth or wherever we hang them up. I think we'll do a paper chain, and maybe Ollie will even help tear the links this year (hopefully one per day and not all at once). We might do one kind of cookie, and I already have a short list of gift ideas. The one thing Wes and I have decided, about holidays in general, is that we prefer to spend the time just hanging out as a family and being together than doing things we feel like we should do because we did them growing up. We both loved the traditions of our own homes growing up, but a lot of it took time and effort that we don't necessarily have to give and don't want to spend in lieu of just being with the kids.

Thanksgiving this year will probably be turkey sandwiches -- or chili, or pizza. Who knows. Emme is having her next surgery -- a skin graft from her belly onto the top of her foot -- the day before Thanksgiving, so we'll be spending the holiday taking turns holding what we assume will be a rather fussy baby and as such are not setting any expectations for a full meal, let alone one that involves a bird of any sort. So Christmas will be extra fun -- I'll do a turkey and all the fixings. We'll say thanks for our two healthy children, a house that is in much better shape this year than last year, and satisfying and secure jobs. We'll watch the kids open presents, but still just a few. But for sure -- I won't do any planning for this until after Thanksgiving!

Because I like my hair today

2011-10-22T11:40:00.000-05:00

Fall-ing

2011-09-18T15:46:00.001-05:00

Self-portrait

2011-09-18T15:45:00.000-05:00

The keys to a productive work day

2011-09-18T15:43:00.003-05:00

Please, no thanks

2011-09-02T11:15:00.004-05:00

I have a request to those organizations and non-profits to which I donate money. Please don't say thank you.

Every fall Wes and I make a small donation to alma mater. The school does a lot of fundraising efforts whereby someone makes a substantial donation if a certain percentage of a the class donates, regardless of the amount. So we've been doing this for years. And every year we get thank you notes -- several. Because it's in both our names, we get two sets of thank you's. So take a pittance we donated and subtract the cost of a letter -- or 4 or 6 over the course of the year -- and that's the net for the school.

A few weeks ago, we made a donation to an organization in honor of some little girls who were having their first birthday. Since then, we've gotten thank you notes -- and requests for another donation.

I know it's polite to say thank you. And I'm sure there has been lots of mass marketing research that helps these organizations know how much mail is actually worth it. But can I just say, for me and Wes and our whole family -- you're welcome. We'll donate again when we're ready. Now keep your mail and save the $0.64.

I'm here

2011-09-02T10:37:00.001-05:00

I've been meaning to post something here for weeks now. I really am alive. I really do have a life beyond my children -- though that is, for the moment, my favorite part. So here is, in brief, a list of things I've been doing in the last few weeks:

I got a crown today. Unfortunately, not the kind with pretty jewels that goes on my head. Rather, one that goes on my tooth. A top molar. It began as "a little decay around this old filling here," which led to replacing the old metal filling with a new slightly larger one. As soon as I could feel my tooth again, I had pain. I thought it would go away. But the filling was too large and had to be ground down twice. The pain didn't go away. It hurt to drink anything, even room temperature. I could eat anything on that side. Sometimes, it just hurt. They replaced the filling. I tried to give it time to feel better, but it just got worse. I started having pain up in my cheek, and sometimes it made it hard to sleep. So I went back -- again -- and had a root canal, which is what led to the crown today. The first appointment was in June, so I've pretty much spent the summer dealing with tooth pain. Here's to regular brushing and flossing.
I went back to school. Summer break is truly over. The kids are settled in their rooms at daycare. I visit Emme every day and Oliver once a week at lunchtime. I have class Monday afternoon and evening, Wednesday afternoon, and Thursday morning. I teach Thursday afternoon. I'm doing research on my own and with my advisor. It's a busy week. So far I think it'll be doable. The spring semester is always calmer than the fall, so I know if I can make to Winter Break, it gets a little easier.
I observed in an Epidemiology class yesterday. I learned all about a pellagra outbreak in the Southeast in the early 1900s, and the role that race and SES played in relative risk. Which was really interesting. And made me glad I'm not a doctor -- or an epidemiologist.
Wes and I painted our bedroom a color called "Silverberry," which is a silvery mauve that looks lavender in natural light. Wes and his mom are refinishing the two pieces of furniture in the room. Wes took some of the fancy out of it so it's simpler lines, and now they're stripping the finish and leaving it with a more barn wood look. I'm looking for new pulls, something like burnished nickel or gun wood. We bought new window hardware and drapes. I've looked at linens. Now we're trying to find a bed, but we want something upholstered, and it's hard to find nice upholstered beds that aren't insanely expensive. It can only get better than it looked before, but I'm hoping it comes together and actually looks nice. I have a tendency to get nervous halfway through decorating a room that it's not going to come together. But historically -- like with the nursery and the garage apartment -- it has, so I guess I shouldn't second-guess myself so much. Finished pictures to come, but probably not for a while.
I hosted two -- yes, two -- cohort parties for school. One Saturday, we had the PhD students in my department and their families over. We were hosts only for that party, so the food came to us. We ended up with lots of extra dip, soda, and -- ugh -- Bud Light. The following Monday I hosted all the students in the master's program I work with. These are all students in the class I teach. I made two lasagnas, and everyone else brought a side. I pushed everyone to take food home so we didn't end up with lots of leftover sides and cookies. Fortunately, though, we did have leftover lasagna. Yum.

So that's me. There's lots more I could say about the kids and all the fun we've been having, but I do that all the time. The fall should be fun -- especially after the weather cools off (high of 77 on Monday -- and rain! -- yay!). So I'm here, and I'll try to remember to post more here, too!

Seven Years

2011-07-24T10:28:00.001-05:00

On our last night there

2011-07-24T10:12:00.000-05:00

Wes and I went out to a nice dinner and even got a little dressed up. Well, I did. He wore what he'd been wearing all week to his conference, and I put on a dress. We looked cute together. We were way overdressed for this "semi-casual" California eatery. There was a toddler and a guy in Birkenstocks at the next table. The food was fair, the wine good, the company excellent. I wish we could have gotten a better picture, but we weren't going to complicate our night of fine dining by towing a camera with us.

San Diego -- it was good. Nice town, great weather. Seeing our kids again -- it was great. Until next year (Chicago!), I have the blog posts to remember the sights, the smells, and the sleep of this vacation.

A bright, sunshiny day

2011-07-18T16:57:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was an outdoorsy kind of day. Wes and I slept in a little bit, enjoyed breakfast in the Grand Club Lounge, and picked up a rental car for the day so that we could visit some of the small towns up north of San Diego. We drove up to La Jolla, right on the edge of Del Mar, to go to the Torrey Pines State Reserve. It was a bit overcast and nice and cool for a couple miles of walking up to and through the reserve. We got some spectacular views of the coast and back down onto the city. The trails were pretty crowded, and the trails were fairly short, so we only spent about two hours there.

After that, we drove into downtown La Jolla, found some parking (which was not easy on a beautiful, Sunday afternoon), and looked for somewhere to have lunch. We ended up at The Spot, which was airing the women's World Cup finals. Wes had the Prime Rib Panini with french fries, I had the soup of the day, which was Chicken Tortilla, and we shared a Southwest Salad (southern California loves their avocado). Afterwards, we headed for the coastline and the Children's Pool. We saw lots of seals down on the rocks and learned all about the controversy surrounding the Children's Pool. It's hard to know who's right here, but from what we saw, the swimmers and seals were co-existing pretty peacefully in the water. It was definitely the highlight of the day.

Wes took Highway 100 down to Cabrillo National Monument. It's right at the top of the peninsula that forms the San Diego Harbor. I didn't realize it had limited hours, and we got there just a few minutes before it closed. The good news was that we didn't have to ante up $5 to get in; the bad news was that we only had about two minutes to snap a few pictures and peek around before a loudspeaker and a security officer rather aggressively pushed us (and many other visitors) towards the exit.

We got back to the hotel around 6pm as I desperately needed to pump milk. Wes and I discovered that we had both gotten more sun than we should have. I guess we didn't realize how long we'd been outside over the course of the day, especially since the temperatures were so cool. Wes's head and neck are red, and I'm a little burnt on my chest (with a white stripe where the camera strap had been). We had some dinner in the Lounge, then went to see Horrible Bosses, which was, in fact, horrible, but still made us laugh out loud.

Today is being spent inside and relaxing on our last full day here. Wes is at some conference sessions today. A few are on healthcare specifically, but several just deal with leadership generally. He attended a breakfast with Atul Guwande this morning, then heard Tom Brokaw and Mike Krzyzewski speak. He's being recognized with the other fellows in his group this afternoon before hearing CNN's Fareed Zukaria speak. We have dinner reservations at Searsucker, a newer restaurant in the Gaslamp Quarter whose chef was a Top Chef finalist. The menu looks interesting, and it's a short walk from the hotel. This is my last night of fine dining for a while, I'm sure, so I'm definitely going to enjoy it.

Two if by sea

2011-07-16T14:05:00.000-05:00

The Coronado Bridge across the harbor

The cabanas on the beach near the
Hotel del Coronado

Another vacation picture of Wes on some rocks

On our way back to Broadway Pier
after barely making the 8:30 ferry

A sign previously unseen

2011-07-15T18:20:00.002-05:00

One if by land

2011-07-15T18:16:00.001-05:00

Yesterday evening, after Wes had finished his day at the conference and I had finished my proposal and sent it off to my advisor for his review, we put on our tennis shoes and took a long walk through the city. We had already taken in the harbor views on our walk to dinner Wednesday and out the windows at the hotel, so we went more through the center of things, in the Gaslamp Quarter where we're staying and up north to Balboa Park. We saw a lot of modern condos and lots of older business buildings. We saw lots of homeless people, something I encounter with much more rarity in Nashville than I did in Chicago. We saw art galleries and a medicinal marijuana shop and fast food places and fancy restaurants. We went by an art gallery with some cool artwork. Wes liked the Lincoln painting, and there was a great Einstein version next to it. We walked past San Diego High School, the City College, and homeless veterans camped out on a bridge, waiting for the upcoming Operation Stand Down event that was scheduled to start today. And then finally, about 2.5 miles later, we got to Balboa Park.

Balboa Park is the nation's largest urban cultural park at 1,200 acres. It has 15 museums, the San Diego Zoo, playgrounds, an activity center with athletic courts, a place where senior citizens play bridge six nights a week (really -- there's a sign up, and we saw three tables of folks in there playing!), botanical gardens, a huge and open dog park, and running trails. It's pretty amazing to see. And it's really well used. We saw a lot of other tourists, of course -- I think that participants in one of the big conferences at the Convention Center were able to access certain things for free last night as part of the registration -- but there were clearly people of all ages -- little kids with parents, groups of teenagers, young couples and old couples and couples with dogs -- throughout the park. It was a beautiful night (although I'm starting to think there aren't that many bad weather evenings here), and it was so nice to see a place like that really getting used.

From the park we walked into Banker's Hill, an area just to the east of the park. It was (and appears still to be) an affluent and more residential part of the city, but also thriving with restaurants and nicer bars and clubs. Wes and I went there to have dinner at The Tractor Room. And while the food was fair to good, the ambience was unbeatable. I don't know who could possibly have thought to themselves, "Let's do an upscale farm decor. You know, tractor chic," but they actually pulled it off. There's an old blue tractor out front, leather and animal hair on the banquets and backs of the bar stools. There's a mounted deer and some other animals, and to our sheer and utter delight, a rabbit -- with antlers on its head. I think we probably annoyed everyone in the restaurant trying to get a decent picture in the dark dining room of this thing, but there was no way we were leaving without it. Wes and I each did a beer flight, with essentially a shot of four different kinds of draught beers. We got black skillet cornbread and a wedge caesar salad for appetizers, then shared the Prime Beef Burger with a side of Criss-Cross Fries and the Honey Mustard Grilled Pork Tenderloin with a side of Acorn Squash with Bacon Maple Farmer's Butter (um, yum). The burger was good, especially done medium rare, and the pork tenderloin was so-so, maybe a little dry. But seriously, a bunny with antlers -- you can't beat that. We did take a cab home rather than walk the four miles back home through the dark.

While Wes was at the conference today, I did a lot of wandering and window shopping and bought a few things for me and Emme. I went to Seaport Village just here by the hotel to go to Upstart Crow, a bookstore and coffee shop. It carries a random assortment of books, really funny odds and ends and gifts, and has a basic coffee menu. I enjoyed looking around and the quirky nature of the place. It's the kind of bookstore I'd frequent if I lived near one, just to walk through now and then. I didn't realize there was so much shopping out there, but ended up spending at least an hour looking through toys store, gift shops, and even a place that just sells outdoor swings and hammocks. I got to talk to my mom to hear how the kids were doing and even to Oliver (and later chatted with everyone on the computer). I then wandered for several miles around the city to look in a few vintage and high-end consignment women's clothing shops (turns out expensive clothes are still too expensive for me, even when marked down). I went to the mall in Horton Plaza -- interesting in the way it's open to the center, which is open air, but totally baffling to navigate --, where I found Emme's t-shirt at Nordstrom's, some extra socks at Lady Foot Locker, and got some fruit and cheese and crackers at Ralph's, the local grocery store, across the street. I'm not sure how far I walked today, but it was nice to just go, take a different street, and pop into places that looked fun.

I still haven't done the 6.5 mile run that the hotel recommends from here along the harbor. I do intend to attempt it at least once before we leave, just because I think it would be so pretty along the way. But at least I'm getting plenty of walking in during the day. Hopefully that, and the almost complete lack of meals the rest of the day, will make up for what I've been eating at night. For now, I leave you with a rare sight.

And some more about food

2011-07-14T12:30:00.003-05:00

I took a quick walk this morning to the CVS down Market, and since I'd missed breakfast at the "Grand Club Lounge," I decided to stop at a coffee shop and get some tea and a muffin or something. After last night's dinner, I certainly didn't need anything more. A pleasant mile or so of walking later, I had gotten the necessary items from CVS and was on my way back to the hotel. I thought about Starbucks, but it just seemed sacrosanct to go there when I'd passed two local coffee shops. So Lion Coffee is was. And can I just say, the Vanilla Chai Tea Latte -- yum. It's like a vanilla milkshake with really nice vanilla bean in it, plus some spices, and so creamy and warm. Perfect for the overcast but not at all cold day we're having. And the french toast muffin -- also yum. This, friends, is why I end up going the same places all the time. I find something amazing and don't want to try anything else!

I'm now back at the hotel making myself finish this conference proposal (with the sounds of a bagpiper who is playing in a park out my window) that needs sent to my advisor so that I'm free the rest of the trip to do as I please. Rest assured, mom, I also have a bottle of water on the desk along with the remainder of my tea.

The view from the top

2011-07-14T10:16:00.001-05:00

Wes and I made it to San Diego yesterday after a nice morning with the kids -- some snuggling with Emme, some swimming with Oliver. Leaving them at my parents' house was much harder for us than it was for them, which is a good thing. We know they're in good hands with their grandparents, but we miss them just the same. The flight over was fine is long. I read an entire book, listened to the woman next to me breathe loudly, and let Wes catch a nap between the captain's unbelievably loud announcements. We got here around 5pm, which is 8pm eastern time.

The hotel itself is beautiful. The rooms are nothing fancy -- I've stayed in several hotels that were nicer -- but the lobby is grand and the views from the windows are unbelievable. We're on the 38th floor. The windows in our room overlook the harbor, Coronado, and the ocean, and the windows just outside our door overlook the part of the harbor where most of the ships and boats are docked.

We didn't have much time to get out last night. Wes had a meeting to go to as soon as we arrived, which left me time to unpack, look back through the travel book we bought, and pump after a long eight hours. We decided to just walk around a little -- mostly along the harbor -- and grab a more relaxed dinner and save our "fancy clothes" for another night. We ended up at Karl Strauss Brewing Company at Columbia and B Street. They have their own microbrewery, plus a nice menu. Wes had the Banh Mi, a Vietnamese sandwich with a nice little kick to it, and I had the Cotija Advocado Turkey Burger, plus we shared a mixed green salad and Rollos Locos, which were great. We sampled several of their beers, just enough (that is, two!) that I had to -- for the first time while nursing Emme -- dump the milk I pumped when I came back. We were there for several hours, just sitting and talking. It was nice.

Wes has a full day today, and I actually have some work to get done before I can play much. I found a running trail I want to try out, but between the bit of a time difference that's left me groggy and a headache that followed me from the plane (yes, mom, I need to drink more water), I'm skipping today to get some more time on my project instead. Wes will be done in the afternoon, and we'll either head over to Balboa Park or into downtown or something like that. Good meals are high on our "to do" list, too. The weather is amazing -- high 60s, low 70s, and no humidity at all -- and we're enjoying it after the sweltering heat we've been having in the last few days back home. Oh, and did I mention I slept (on and off) for almost nine hours last night?

About my hair

2011-07-11T14:14:00.001-05:00

One of my better hair cuts.
I took the picture on a "good" day.

I got a haircut a few weeks ago, and it didn't go quite as planned. It's not horrible, mind you, but I've had better haircuts. I'm pretty sure it's uneven, but it's so short that I'm waiting a few weeks to get it fixed. So I'm making some notes about my hair to keep in mind for the next time I decide to go get it cut.

1. I've never had a haircut that I liked most of the time. I've had haircuts that would sometimes look good -- when I styled it just right, and it wasn't hot out, and I didn't work up any kind of a sweat. Those days are few and far between as the mother of two in a southeastern city. It's unlikely that some new stylist is going to magically realize the haircut that will make me love my hair. So go for "good enough" and easy to manage.

I liked the length, but it
only looked good when straight.

2. My hair is somewhere between really wavy and kind of curly. It's not a soft wave or a nice, tight curl. It's a nice curl in some places, but frizzy on top and somewhat limp on top or bottom depending on the length.
3. I have my father's hair pattern, even as a woman. My hair hangs forward. That means that if I don't wear bangs, I have to be able to pull it back in either barrettes or bobby pins if I want to keep it out of my face.
4. My part moves. Anyone who cuts my hair with my part in one specific place is doing something that won't look good later.
5. I get better haircuts at the pricier hair salon, even if it's with someone new who takes the lowest rate in the salon. (I guess this the "buy the cheapest house in the nicest neighborhood" approach.) This is an important one to remember because it's usually impatience -- in having to make and wait for an appointment at a hair salon -- that sends me to a mostly walk-in haircut place that leaves me with these less than stellar haircuts. I need to get my hair cut by the same person, someone who has an opinion about what will look good and listens to what I tell them.

The current cut. It's a little longer
on the right, but the curls hide it.

6. When my hair gets very long, it goes in a ponytail. So I'm better off with hair that's not long enough for a full-fledge ponytail.

On the plus side, I do like the color of my hair. It always looks like I've just had highlights done, but it's all natural -- just blonde enough to keep it light, but not a flat color. I'm hoping it will cover the gray well when that comes :)

Sunny California

2011-07-11T13:59:00.000-05:00

Wes and I have had only a few actual vacations since we got married (and probably none before our wedding). We went to Africa, but that was more about Wes working in the pediatric hospital than very much travel and relaxation. Our safari was a fun trip, for sure, but sleeping in tents during the rainy season was hardly romantic. And while we loved our cook, the fare was less than four star. We took a wonderful trip to Portland a few years ago, a real live vacation. We stayed in a nice hotel, slept in late, ate good food and drank local wine and beer, saw the sights. It was great. And then we had kids.

Last summer, my mom and sister came and kept Oliver so that Wes and I could have a trip together. We went to Phoenix, where Wes had a conference. We stayed in a beautiful resort with several different pool and gorgeous grounds. Wes had to present and attend some sessions, and I was eight weeks pregnant with all that the first trimester usually brings, plus finishing a final paper for my Maymester class and reading several novels for my June summer session. So it wasn't completely relaxing, but it was time alone. No toddler to deal with, lots of naps. I couldn't enjoy the food really, or the wine, but we did do a little sightseeing.

So this summer we're trying again. My parents are keeping both the little people so that I can go with Wes to San Diego. Once again, it's a working vacation. But it's also in a hotel with an amazing view of the harbor, in an area of the city where I can walk to lots of things, and this time I am not pregnant and able to enjoy all of the local fare.

I will miss my little people terribly while we're gone, but I will also enjoy this vacation. I know Wes will have to work while we're there, and I'll still be pumping milk every few hours, but I'll also get to sleep. And read. And sit on the beach. And have dinner with my husband without taking a toddler to the potty.

This is titled

2011-06-21T20:29:00.000-05:00

We need to buy a ladder.

Update: We did. Ollie thinks it's great.

Thunderstorms

2011-06-15T18:57:00.000-05:00

Summer vacation

2011-06-08T22:45:00.000-05:00

My summer vacation is finally here. My Maymester class is over, and I have almost three full months off until fall semester begins in late August. I have school related work that I'll spend some time on over the weeks, but nothing with firm deadlines or lots of hours needed.

I couldn't understand why this summer break felt so exciting, but then I realized that I've basically been in classes for 2 years straight, with a brief break late last summer. I've done 18 classes in those 2 years. That's a lot of reading, a lot of assignments, a lot of final projects and papers. But now -- I get three months. Three whole months. I get to stay home with my baby girl (and on some days, my boy) to enjoy a much belated maternity leave before sending her off to daycare with Oliver come August. I loved having her at home this semester -- I got to see her a lot more that way -- but there's something kind of fun about having my kids together at "school" (right next to my school, where I can visit them at lunch if I choose).

So if you call the house in the next few months, I might actually be here to answer the phone and have more than a few minutes to chat. Of course, I might be cleaning, or the baby might crying, or we might be out running errands or at the playground or a pool. But what I won't be doing is trying to get a paper done. Hurray for that.

Bugged out

2011-06-08T13:36:00.000-05:00

I came home late last night from a trip to my sister's near Savannah to a Nashville that is hot, humid, and almost completely bug free. The cicadas are pretty much gone, save one that landed on Emme's leg on our walk home from daycare. The noise is gone, the crazy flying creatures landing in my hair are gone, the trees lined with cicada shells are gone.

I do not look forward to their return.

Me at 32

2011-05-15T10:47:00.002-05:00

On May 1, I turned 32, and I thought this would be a good time to stop and think about the random and less random things that describe who I am right now.

At 32, I am:

married for almost seven years, with my husband for almost 11. We've now spent about 1/3 of our lives with each other. It's still fun, it's sometimes hard, but we're mostly happy. And that seems special.
the mother of two children. They make me laugh. The make me crazy. They make me whole. I can't wait for more (but I will!).
a graduate students. A master's degree done, a PhD in the works. I have a pretty good sense of what I'm specifically interested in. I have learned how to "do" graduate schools (part of what Gee refers to as a big "D" Discourse). I have bonded with my cohort and developed a good working relationship with my advisor. I feel (and sound) a bit smarter than I did at the beginning of the year.
the owner of a seven-year-old beagle mix. She's still loud, still barks at things that aren't there, sheds like we've moved to the tropics.
a homeowner. Scary. Wonderful. We even just upgraded our grill.
a city girl. Weird, right? I think we'll always retreat to the country, but we'll always live in more urban areas. I would not have predicted that ten years ago.
still an avid reader. Other than all the reading I do for classes, I'm presently engaged with Committed, by Elizabeth Gilbert. Love it.
a country music fan. I was before we moved to Nashville but now I listen to it even more. I don't claim that it's great music (just like I don't claim that Emily Giffin's books are great literature), but in both cases, I like it. On my list right now: "Mean," by Taylor Swift (I know, I know), and "Only Prettier," by Miranda Lambert. And anything by the Zac Brown Band.
a reluctant home decorator. I've picked out more furniture, rugs, and paint color in the last two years than I can count. And I was unsure of every single choice. But strangely, the house looks okay. Some people even compliment it.
dealing with cicadas. It's one of those BIG infestation years. Not too bad around our house yet, but they are loud.
chilly. It's mid-May in Tennessee, and it's 54 degrees outside. Not okay. Isn't this why we left Chicago?
excited to have some time off in a few weeks. Hailey has two more weeks while I finish this Maymester class, and then it's my belated maternity leave. Three months, me and the baby while Ollie is in daycare. He'll either do shortened days or shortened weeks or both, but he needs the consistency so there's no re-entry problems in the fall, and I need the freedom to rest and read and enjoy being a "new" mom again. Several trips planned. Some house cleaning and organizing. Lots of catching up on movies, too.
about 7 pounds heavier than I'd like to be, most of it right at my waist, and probably 10-12 above where I'd feel really skinny and fit into all my clothes beautifully. I'm doing okay for having had a baby four months ago but not amazing. I need to eat a little healthier, definitely get some exercise. But I also know that I didn't hit my lightest until I finished nursing Ollie, which is probably eight months away with Emme. So I'm going to spend the summer trying to establish some good habits for the busy fall semester and generally not worry too much about it unless I need to.
a big fan of dessert (see above). I've learned to make amazing chocolate chip cookies (thank you, mother), and I love cheesecake and chocolate-peanut butter ice cream and Dairy Queen Blizzards. Not all at once, not all the time, but yeah, the sweet tooth runs strong in this one.
a Mac user. I made the switch this year, and let me say, it's so worth it.
the opposite of a hoarder. I like things that make my life easier or more enjoyable, but I hate owning things. I love those ultra-modern, chic apartments in New York or wherever where there's furniture but no actual things around. Note, that's not what my house looks like. But it appeals to me.
a regular at Panera Bread. If I could only eat one place, it would be there. Subway would come next. (This is, of course, excluding any nicer restaurants.) Wes and I don't eat out often for dinner these days, but we both go out for lunch once or twice a week. I've been packing my lunch during class this month, but otherwise, it's a treat and just makes life easier sometimes.
a blogger. I really do enjoy blogging. I've come to hate Facebook and will probably delete my profile at some point. I know nothing about Twitter. But I do love blogging. It's where I get to be a writer, where I get to brag about my husband and kids, often my reason for taking pictures when I otherwise wouldn't. There's this line in the remake of Shall We Dance? (the one with Richard Gere) about wanting someone to witness our lives. Thank you for witnessing mine.

It takes a village

2011-05-15T10:23:00.002-05:00

I've never in my life begun something that I couldn't quite imagine finishing. I began high school and college knowing I would finish it. I began my master's program knowing I would finish it. I began marriage and my family believing that I would get where I wanted to go -- I could imagine married life and being a mom, I mean. But even now, after my first year, I have a hard time imagining getting my PhD, the diploma and the graduation, and being the other "Dr. Self" in the house. But it seems, slowly but surely, that's where I'm headed.

The spring semester is over, and I am now done with the first year of my PhD program (I am currently in a Maymester class, but it's only nine sessions and we're 2/3 done already). I have to present a first-year project in the fall to be officially promoted to second-year status, but for all intents and purposes, I am 1/5 done with my degree. The last few weeks in particular were really crazy, and I definitely called in some help in the form of my mother, who came and kept Emmeline on the days I didn't have a sitter and even stayed an extra day on the weekend to give me a few more hours to analyze data and write (plus help Wes landscape in our lawn).

I don't know that it takes a village to raise children, but I would definitely say that it took a village to get me through this year. So here, in no particular order, is my list of those who helped me make it through this first year:

Wes, who not only thinks I can do this but also understands what I'm studying and is interested in it, even talks to me about my research. Plus, he makes the money that pays for the babysitter who frees me up to go to class and do my homework ("in the house that Jack built");
Hailey, said babysitter who was here three days a week so that I could do homework, sometimes sleep, sometimes run errands, and go to class. She is friendly, reliable, and loves on Emme the way I would if I were with her. Plus, she does diapers;
Ollie and Emme, whose mere existence makes the work I'm doing seem more worthwhile. Seems strange to say that kids would make the work that keeps me away from them more worthwhile, but it's that sense of a complete life and the knowledge that I want their educational experience to be more meaningful that makes it such. Plus, they give good bedtime kisses and hugs;
My mom, who traveled up when I went to a conference in New Orleans, who traveled up when I gave birth (three times -- I mean, she traveled up three times, not that I gave birth three times), and who traveled up when I needed extra time at the end of the semester to get work done. Plus, she bakes;
My sister, without whom I would probably not have a research project (upon which I will not further expound, since it could breach confidentiality for my participants). Plus, she just rocks generally;
My friend Rachel, who is Oliver's other mother here locally. She talks with me, loves on my babies, shares her puppies with Oliver, and makes me laugh. Plus, she stayed with the kids so that I could go to campus to print my 200-page qualitative methods project the night before it was due.

I'm sure there are more, and I'll probably come back in and add more when I think of them. But for now, here's to you, my village people. My three A's this semester are dedicated to you and all you have done. (But remember, we're not done yet. Four years to go...).

The big payoff

2011-05-15T10:08:00.001-05:00

Wes and I are proud to be the new owners of a 2009 Honda Civic. That is, we're the proud new owners. That's because we just paid off the loan on the Honda, and we're now waiting for the title to come in the mail.

A few weeks ago, Wes and I met with a financial planner that one of his co-workers recommended. David seems like a nice guy, knowledgeable (though probably anyone in this field would seem knowledgeable to me), and on the conservative side where money is concerned. We vetted him through several co-workers who use him, along with some feedback from Wes's brother who works in finance, and decided that now was the time to start doing something with our savings other than just putting it in a saving account. Wes and I don't have any "bad" debt (though obviously all debt is bad), but when we moved here, we bought a house and two cars, plus we're still paying (and will be for awhile) on his medical school loans. So Wes and I were kind of happy when he recommended that, in addition to investing some and starting 529 plans for both kids, we pay off some things. He said it just makes good financial sense and that partly, it just feels good to pay something off.

And so we did. The smaller med school loan (and the one with the higher interest rate) and the Honda loan are now gone. There's still plenty more where they came from, but it does feel good to be taking these steps. It makes us feel like we've accomplished something with our savings, rather than just having it sit there (though that's important, too, for emergency funds), and it makes me feel like we're saving for something, too, which often helps better spending habits.

It is crazy to have someone sit there and calculate numbers and tell you what you'll have available when you retire at 65, 66 years old. The gross sums, in particular, are wild to hear, but then Wes and I both come from well, really old people, so we might need it if we're going to live to 90 or more (knock on wood).

A rare sighting

2011-04-18T19:12:00.002-05:00

NOLA

2011-04-12T09:38:00.000-05:00

Last Friday, I flew to New Orleans for a five-day conference, and in about an hour, I will leave for the airport to fly home. I'm ready to leave, looking forward to seeing the baby and Oliver and Wes. I'm ready for my own bed and not having to eat out for every meal. But I've actually really enjoyed being here. The conference was good. I heard several really excellent presentations and contacted several of the presenters about common interests, some of whom have replied and shared their papers. I'm making connections in a way that will support my work and, perhaps, in future years my ability to get a job. I got to see my advisor at his book signing, and it's always fun to see someone you know, whose work you know well and respect, surrounded by other people who don't know him as well and who are as excited and impressed to meet him as I am to meet many of the "famous" educational researchers I've seen here at the conference.

Other than sleeping as much as I can -- something I thought I should do with so rare a break from baby night-duty -- I did get to see some of New Orleans. Were I here for vacation, I would have done and seen a lot more, but this time it was just one part of my efforts. I had dinner Friday night with two classmates, one of our professors, and her husband. We had drinks at the Columns Hotel (I even sipped a mojito that my classmate ordered!) and dinner at Jacques-imos. I had potato crusted drum with mashed sweet potatoes and corm maque choux, which was delicious. The cream on the drum was unbelievable. On Sunday night, I got to visit with friends from Charlottesville who now live in New Orleans. I saw their children (so big!), met their new chicks (so fuzzy!), and got to enjoy their company for several hours. They took me for an authentic po' boy at a local place, then for beignets (so sweet!). This morning, with an alarm set to get me moving in time for breakfast before the airport shuttle comes, I made it across the street for a breakfast of pain perdue, which is New Orleans style french toast -- crustier that what I've had elsewhere, but very good, especially with the heaping fruit on the side. I've ridden the streetcar to Uptown, had a walking tour of the Garden District, and can see the river out my window. I've been on both Canal and Bourbon Streets, though in the broad daylight. I suppose I was a bit of loser for not having gone out more -- to hear some of the French Quarter Jazzfest or to some of the local bars with my classmates -- but I've enjoyed the trip and feel both rested and like I got a lot out of this trip.

I don't know if or when I'll be back to New Orleans. Wes had a conference here a year or more ago, so it seems likely that at some point one of us will be heading back. For now, I'm glad to have come, to have seen, to have connected a few sights so famous from those days after Katrina -- like the Superdome -- with the "after" picture (though there's always more work to be done). And right at this moment, I can't wait to get home.

National Poetry Month

2011-04-05T11:19:00.000-05:00

My friend Kim is doing a series of posts on poetry in honor of National Poetry Month. I did a guest post that I wrote yesterday while I was supposed to be writing a data analysis plan for my qualitative methods class. Read it. Read the poems.

The plural -s

2011-04-04T12:22:00.000-05:00

Parking it

2011-04-04T10:08:00.002-05:00

I don't know if it's the sunshine or warmer temperatures or need for exercise, but over the last few weeks, the kids and I have been out to various parks around Nashville almost every weekend. It started with a trip one early Saturday morning to Edwin Warner Park. Wes, Ollie, and I (and Lucy) have made several trips to Percy Warner, which has more unpaved trails and is a bit hillier than Edwin Warner. There is a big paved road in Percy Warner, but it's shared with vehicles, so I didn't want to push the stroller there. Plus, it's fun to get back into the woods. I'd heard Edwin Warner had paved trails back in the wood, plus there's a nature center with a kid's play area. So when Emme and Ollie woke up early one morning (and Wes was still sleeping from a late night shift), I packed them both, the double stroller, and the dog into the car and headed off. We had a really nice outing. Emme mostly slept. Lucy jogged happily along. The weather was lovely -- not too cold or too warm. Ollie sat in the stroller for a good bit of time, and then I let him out and he jogged alongside me (to the amusement of many a passerby). This paved trail isn't shared with cars, and after about a half mile, there's no city sounds at all. We heard all kinds of bird, including a woodpecker, which Oliver identified and scouted (having seen one up close at Grandma Martha's bird feeder weeks before). We went about three hilly miles in total, which, when pushing about 50 pounds of kids, stroller, and car seat, takes a while. Oliver told me he needed the potty about .5 miles from the car, which meant I sprinted the end. We did make it to a toilet at the nature center without incident. The kids area was closed, but it looks adorable and we'll definitely go back.

The next day, while Wes was doing some work at home, I took the kids (sans Lucy) to Radnor Lake. This has only a short paved section but lots of trails. Unfortunately, the trails are rather too narrow to accommodate a double stroller. When we go back, I'll probably either take the single and a carrier for Emme or just let Oliver walk. (Dogs aren't allowed on the unpaved portions, which is why I hadn't taken Lucy). The paved section and some of the trails follow along the edge of Radnor Lake, which was, at least on the day we were there, filled with snapping turtles. Oliver and I spent lots of time pointing out turtles in the water. He was disappointed he couldn't go down to the water but seemed to like the lake anyway. Unfortunately, the kids weren't in as good a mood this time. Emme cried and fussed in the stroller, which eventually required a stop at one of the lake overlook points for a nursing session, and Ollie was dragging (perhaps still worn out from the previous day's jog!). There's nothing like pushing a double stroller with no kids in it! It's definitely somewhere I'd like to go back, but with a different setup.

Yesterday morning, while Wes slept* a little more, I took the kids and Lucy to Shelby Bottoms. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I knew the trails followed the Cumberland River, and I thought Ollie would like that. The park area includes a playground and several baseball fields. The greenways themselves include a nice paved trail (closed to vehicles) along with a lot of unpaved trails that run back through the grasses. It's really serene, really beautiful. The weather was great, and the trail wasn't too crowded when we were there. I managed to go three miles, but once again, the kids didn't really help. I let Oliver out to jog with me, but he just dragged along, and I eventually made him get back in so he didn't get run over by marathon training groups that were running in the opposite direction. The paved trail is very nice. People aren't as good, I guess, about cleaning up after dogs as at the Warners. There's several bridges along the way over the creek. Ollie once again was disappointed that he couldn't go down to the water, but when I pushed them down the boat ramp to see the water, he didn't want to go any further. I took him over to the playground when we finished our jog. Unfortunately, Emme started crying again right around the time Ollie and I both soaked our bottoms (hah!) on a side-by-side slide, so we decided to head home.

If there's one thing I've realized, it's that there's a lot more park around Nashville than I realized. I'm very glad I've got the double stroller now, and I'm looking forward to going back to places like Radnor and Percy Warner with just Emme in a carrier for some vigorous walking (it seems wrong to call it hiking!). I used to love jogging with Wes and Lucy along the New River Trail, and this is kind of a piece of that. It's strange to put your kids in the car to go exercise and see nature, but the only thing in any direction from here is pretty congested with traffic, which is hard with a stroller and dog especially. I don't have any specific goals from all of this. Lucy and I could both stand to lose a few pounds and get in better shape. I hope the kids see an active lifestyle that they continue with throughout their lives. Mostly, though, it just makes me feel good.

*In fairness, Wes doesn't just sleep and work at home while I take care of the kids. Sometimes he's coming off a shift, and I'm trying to keep the kids occupied while he sleeps, and sometimes we split up time on the weekend so we each get some time without the kids to work. I just tend to use those opportunities to get out and get some exercise, whereas he's more likely to do projects around the house.

When the cat is away

2011-04-04T09:44:00.001-05:00

the mice will play. And so they did. A few weeks ago, while the kids and I were in Georgia visiting my parents during my spring break, we dealt with another household pest -- some mice. We've had mice in the house before, months ago. I found their pellets under the kitchen sink, behind the trash can and plumbing. We tried a trap here and there but never caught anything, and eventually, they just disappeared. I'm not scared of mice, but they kind of freak me out with their skittering around in the dark. I usually make Lucy sleep in the kitchen when we've spotted one, just to keep them at bay.

But then the day I was leaving for Georgia, I opened up a cabinet in the kitchen to move some bagels into the refrigerator and found a nicely chewed hole in the bag and bottom bagel (one of which Oliver had just eaten for lunch). They'd chewed through a package of Ramen soup and left poop all over the cabinet. I left a note for Wes to do something about the mice.

When I returned home, however, nothing had been done -- and the mice had clearly been at play. They were obviously hanging out not only under the sink but now also in the pantry cabinet next to the refrigerator. We cleaned everything out, put down some kid-safe mouse poison, and set a trap under the kitchen sink.

It took a few days, and one night of me listening to a mouse unwrap the bait poison under the sink and (I have to assume) chow down on it. There were several more days of cleaning out mouse pellets -- the only sign of whether they'd been back or not. One of them managed to get the bait off of Wes's trap without getting snared, so we gave up on that and went just with the poison, hoping they'd make it outside the house before they died.

So for now, the mice are gone. We've seen neither skittering in the dark nor any poop. We've also fortunately neither found a dead mouse nor had one stink up the house. Between the ants, the mice, and the neighbor dog (who still visits several times a week and poops in our yard each time), it seems we're constantly being invaded. Fortunately, the bunny and the possum seem to be staying outside.

Sunshine

2011-03-18T20:12:00.000-05:00

Wes and I talked recently about how much we still miss Chicago. Nashville is great, and I at least am probably making more friends here (mostly mom friends at this point) than I did in Chicago, but the city just doesn't feel like home the way Chicago did for some reason. But then today we were reminded why we came here.

It was around 80 here today. Emme and I took a walk to the park at noon, where we met a few other moms and their kids. We were out for a little under two hours, and Emme slept peacefully in her car seat the entire time. I, however, basked in the sunshine. I even have the pink arms and nose to show for it.

This, my friends, you cannot find in Chicago.

A milestone, of sorts

2011-03-17T22:21:00.000-05:00

I reached a big milestone today as a researcher. I got my first IRB (Institutional Review Board) application approved, which means I can conduct my research study in Savannah next week as planned and use the data for possible presentations and publication. The IRB basically oversees both medical and behavioral sciences research, making sure that participants are protected and the research is conducted ethically. This is something all researchers have to do, but it's kind of tedious and can become timely and involve many revisions. Some students who work on big grants for their professors don't do one until late in their graduate experience, so I'm glad I was forced to do one early on. I only had to make a few small corrections and additions to mine, which is great, and I feel much better equipped, thanks to this experience and my qualitative methods professor, to do these in the future.

Now comes the real work!

Things that make you go waaaaah

2011-03-16T13:06:00.000-05:00

I've been weepy recently. I don't know if it's post-partum weepiness, birth control hormones weepiness, or gray skies weepiness, but regardless, I'm tearing up much more often here. Following is short but incomplete list of things that regularly make me cry (just a little, but still...):

Ads for the new TLC show Coming Home
The third hour of Emme's evening "fussy" period
The Darius Rucker song "It Won't Be Like This For Long"
Pictures of Oliver as an infant

So if you call and I sound like I've been sobbing, just chalk it up to one of these.

Be our guest

2011-03-14T11:31:00.004-05:00

Self City Tours is please to announce the grand re-opening of their
presidential guest suite, located at the rear of their headquarters
on Elmwood Avenue.

The renovated suite features spa-like colors, a new kitchenette with
mini-fridge and coffee maker, new bed linens, and new carpet throughout.

Plus, a newer, quieter, and more efficient heat and air conditioning unit
and a door between the main space and bathroom/closet area.
And all for the same low price as before!

Please pardon the dust in the entryway as we're still working to update
that space. Contact us today to make your reservations.

Self City Tours --
Where you can see the city by your Self.

(Don't remember what the old suite looked like? Here's the before pictures and here's the during pictures. We still need window treatments and a few pictures on the wall, but it's already getting lots of use as a home office!)

Doro-thy!

2011-02-27T21:50:00.000-06:00

Last Thursday night was just another in a series of "weather events" we've had here in Nashville. There's been snow, ice, floods, searing heat, high winds, and yes, now a night of tornados. I knew there was bad weather coming, and by dinnertime, the winds were howling and the rain was falling. The weather had been colder than expected all day but warmed significantly at night. My Thursday night shows kept getting interrupted for coverage of where "circulating thunderstorms" were building. Emme and I went to bed around 9pm, and shortly thereafter, when the first siren sounded, Wes brought a sleeping Oliver down to our bed. Wes got out shoes for both us, checked to make sure the flashlight had batteries, and unlocked the padlock on the outside of the door to our basement, our escape location in the event of an actual tornado. We heard the siren go off probably every ten to thirty minutes for more than two hours, along with lots and lots of rain, wind, lightning and thunder. Ollie and Emme slept soundly, Wes sat up watching television warnings, and I woke up every time the siren went off. By midnight, the threat seemed to have passed. Wes lugged Ollie back upstairs, and we all fell mercifully to sleep. We heard one final loud boom of thunder shortly after Wes came to bed. It reverberated so loudly that we both worried it was an actual tornado. The night -- especially on top of a late homework night Monday and a late shift for Wes the night before -- left us all worn out, and no one, including Oliver, was up before 9am the next morning, having weathered, literally, our first serious encounter with tornado alley.

And what did I just see on the Sunday night news teaser -- updates on the threat for more tornadoes. Welcome to the alley!

Serves them right

2011-02-27T13:12:00.001-06:00

Wes began cleaning out the garage this weekend (with the help of Oliver, who was somewhat helpful, and his mother, who was hugely helpful). He found found a bunch of mouse droppings near the workbench and also on it. Strangely, he also found a small plastic bag that had been sitting on the workbench with two holes in it, obviously made by the mice. What made is strange is that the bag contained rat poison.

Wash, rinse, repeat

2011-02-10T10:14:00.000-06:00

Saturday night, Wes gave me a couple of hours to sit with my schoolwork while he took care of the kids. I was just sitting upstairs, so I hear periodic wails, giggles, and exclamations, but tried not to investigate them. At some point, though, it became evident that Oliver had done something he wasn't supposed to. Wes seemed to have handled the situation, and since he didn't come get me, I figured it couldn't be too serious.

A few hours later, when I came downstairs to have dinner, I inquired after what had happened. Seems Oliver had retrieved a ballpoint pen from the desk while Wes was trying to clean up from dinner. He then "wrote" on several of his book covers, but the pen evidently got away from him, and there was ink all over our light-colored couch. Fortunately, we bought a slip-covered couch for a reason. I was skeptical I could get the ink out -- pen has always been what did my favorite khaki pants in -- but decided to try out the GooBeGone I'd gotten from the store for just such a situation. I sprayed it on the ink, followed by a stain treater. On the third cushion, I treated one old ink mark (Oliver's first foray into "writing" with a pen, notably also supervised by Wes) with just the GooBeGone, along with some other spots from a creme that had left a shadowy mark. When the covers came out of the wash, I was shocked to see that all of the ink was gone. Not a single spot left. The one large cushion cover, though, the one that can't be flipped over because of its shape, had several new large shadowy spots now, looking even worse than how it began. So I retreated it with the stain remover and washed again. This time, it all came out.

So somehow, Oliver getting pen all over the couch, though it created more work, left our couch looking better then ever. I doubt every such situation will turn out this well, but given the household disasters we've dealt with recently, I'll celebrate this one.

Joy is

2011-02-09T17:11:00.000-06:00

watching your son and your dog play in the freshly fallen snow in the backyard, the sound of your daughter waking from a nap in the living room.

Cough cough, hack hack, sneeze

2011-02-06T13:54:00.000-06:00

My mother kept telling me in the days after Emmeline's birth that I needed to nap or I would get sick from exhaustion. I don't know if it's the lack of naps or just winter and germy children, but everyone in our house is definitely ill. Wes has some kind of sinus problem that's left him with a nasty nose and headache, plus he's tired, even when he gets a full night of sleep. I've had a sore throat, hoarseness, some sinus pressure, and a cough, but my headache, I'm assuming, is from lack of sleep. Oliver has a sometimes runny, sometimes crusty nose and a bit of a cough. Emme's even been a little congested, though fortunately it's in her nose and not her lungs. She sneezes out these adult-sized boogers that I rush to wipe with whatever's available before she inhales them back up her nostrils. Lucy seems health -- she just stinks.

And on that note, I'm going to take a nap.

Oh, and another thing

2011-02-02T10:40:00.001-06:00

First, the dishwasher stopped working properly. Then, the tree began losing limbs. And, the upstairs toilet leaked and left a stain on our kitchen ceiling. Next, the pipe in the garage apartment burst and flooded that structure and the garage. Finally (I hope!), one day after Emme and I came home from the hospital, the master toilet backed up. Oh, but it wasn't just the toilet. Because when my mom plunged it, sewage backed up into our shower and bathtub. And after Wes emptied all the pipes and snaked them, he realized the problem was not a small one. In fact, it was not our pipes at all. It was the old copper pipe that connected our updated plumbing to the sewage system. And it was overgrown with tree roots. Some plumbers came out the next day, a holiday no less, and after confirming what Wes had found, had to drill out the pipe. Fortunately this ended our "no draining water" period -- the 24 hours during which we couldn't flush the toilet (ewww). They came back the next day and replaced the pipe, which of course destroyed our front lawn (which wasn't great to begin with). Wes and Ollie worked on Sunday to regrade, remove rocks, reseed, and cover the lawn with straw.

The goods news is that we'll be able to report a lot of "upgrades" to our property when we have to sell it. There have been several neighbors with problems with tree roots recently, so it'll be great to be able to tell prospective buyers that we've already had that fixed on our property. The dishwasher, sadly, is still not repaired -- which deserves its own post, but is so frustrating that I can't bear to report it. The tree has been trimmed and cabled and had nutrients injected into its roots. The ceiling in the kitchen has been painted. The apartment and garage are underway. The bad news, of course, is that our house has been under construction for weeks now. My floors are constantly dirty because of the mud out front and the drywall dust in the garage. There's furniture being stored in the eaves and the nursery. The house is, quite simply, out of order.

Fortunately, we've managed it all. It's like an extra job sometimes, making decisions and writing checks and making sure things get done properly. It's not the best timing for all this, of course. It seems like someone up there must have a sense of humor. Good thing we do, too.

Star sightings

2011-02-02T10:12:00.000-06:00

There is a small compound of property at the end of our street that is somewhat set off to itself. There's two houses with large, wrought-iron fences around them that really blend with the street and a kind of enclave surrounded by a solid stucco wall. The back of these properties are gated, and there's a big tour bus outside. A few months ago, our next door neighbor, who has lived here her entire life, told us that the properties belonged to Dolly Parton. The story is that she has a seamstress and a recording studio and some other business-related services there. Her Nashville home is not far from here, but gated and set back far from the road. Our neighbor said that often, on Sunday morning, a big van would go by with Dolly in the front passenger seat. Some other friends confirmed the fact that the property belonged to her, but that was all we knew.

On Sunday, while Wes was working in the yard with Oliver, just such a van pulled down the street. Wes said it slowed down, evidently to get a laugh at Ollie, wielding a rake at least twice his size, and sure enough, there was Dolly Parton, taking in our blondie.

Always nice to get to know the neighbors.

Thanks giving, Bonus week

2011-01-15T08:24:00.001-06:00

Wes and I are very thankful for our family, especially our newest member, Emmeline Mae. Details of her birth are on what is now the kids' blog (and not just the kid's blog).

Thanks giving, Week 52

2011-01-05T10:22:00.003-06:00

It's a gray and now snowy day, so it seems like a good time to do my final thanks giving post. I set out to do this for a year, and it's taken a little longer to post 52 of them, but it seems like as good a time as any to finish. So here goes:

I am thankful for a quiet house. Wes is at work, hopefully submitting (by 4pm) the proposals he's been working on for weeks now. Oliver is at daycare, hopefully still dry in his underwear. He wore some to daycare yesterday and came home in the same pants and underwear (stayed dry even through his nap!). He clearly knows the difference between underwear and pull-ups and wants to wear the underwear. Even Lucy seems to be in a sleepy mood.
I am thankful for another week of class-free days until my first class next Thursday. I saw that professor (for my research group) out at lunch yesterday, so she knows that I'm still waiting for baby and might not make it if she continues to bide her time. The professor is a mother of three, the youngest only 3 years old, so she understands my situation and is supportive.
I am thankful for a freezer full of food. Lots of food. For a new recipe (chicken tortilla soup) and a still full bag of chocolate chip cookies left behind by my mother.
I am thankful for my home, which is clean and all set up for baby. A co-sleeper by the bed, a playpen in the living room, her nursery upstairs. And while I'm really ready to have her in my arms, I'm also really thankful to have her in my belly, 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant by the midwife's due date. How neat to be so pregnant and so close to meeting her.
I am thankful for the many friends and family who are also ready to meet this baby, many of whom have called (um, repeatedly), texted, emailed, and messaged me on Facebook just to see if she's arrived.
I am thankful for a thankful spirit. Posting these each week(ish) has helped me to be intentional about appreciating all that I have in life. It's easy to just get down sometimes, even when you have so much, so practicing this has made my year -- which had a lot of highs and also some downs -- a lot more enjoyable. I wish those of you who have read my posts each week a year of things to be thankful for and the spirit to be thankful for them -- both big and small.

Updated: I just opened a copy of Real Simple that I picked up at the grocery store and saw this quote: "Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling" (Margaret Lee Runbeck). That pretty much says it all.

Thanks giving, Week 51

2010-12-25T11:09:00.000-06:00

I haven't sent out Christmas cards for years now. If I don't have time to make them personal, it just doesn't seem worth it. Plus Wes signed 75 cards at work the other day for various staff and would be unlikely to add his original signature to anything additional. So since most of the people who would get one from us read this blog, if only from time to time, let this serve as this year's Christmas card, from our family to yours: May the joy of the season surround you. May the wonders of the day fulfill you. And may God bless you and yours in the new year. I give thanks each day for the special people who fill my life, both online and in person, and so this week, I give thanks for you -- whomever and wherever you may be.

'Twas the night before Christmas

2010-12-25T07:51:00.004-06:00

Last night, Wes and I did the parent thing and put together a gift for Ollie with about 100 pieces -- from about 9pm until midnight. I'd found this wooden workshop online some time ago and after soliciting opinions from aunts and grandmas, purchased it. It sat in a very heavy box upstairs for the past two weeks. I knew it was kind of involved to put together -- people online said upwards of 45 minutes -- but evidently if you watch VH1's countdown of the 100 Best Musicians of all time while putting it together, it adds more than two hours. Fortunately, all of the pieces were labeled with letters or numbers, and the instructions were very clear. We did have one or two hiccups. There's a piece that holds a wooden dowel in place that wouldn't go in for some reason, and the pegboard on the left would not fit into the slats on either side. I don't know if the slats weren't cut large enough or the pegboard not small enough, but it absolutely would not go in. I was really disappointed but have taped the thing in place so Oliver can use it right away, and I'm going to call either the place that I bought it from or the manufacturer on Monday to see if they can send us corrected parts. The unit is adorable, though, and well made for a children's toy. We have it sitting in the living room for him to come downstairs to, along with 4 other small wrapped items (two puzzles and two books) and a wooden airplane in his stocking. In keeping with family traditions, Oliver took the last link off the paper chain last night. He went back for the star, but I told him he had to wait.

When I went to put the box and trash on the back porch after we'd finished, I saw that the rain that had been falling on our way home from the grocery store had turned to snow, and the lawn was completely covered. This morning, there's not significantly more down. The lawns and cars are white, but the porches and sidewalks are mostly clear, which is a nice trade-off. It does look like there's either more light snow or some sleet coming down. Oliver will be thrilled, and I may be forced at some point to get him some galoshes and snow gloves so that he can play in the occasional snowfall we've gotten both winters here.

I, unfortunately, slept poorly last night and finally got up at 6:30am. There's monkey bread in the oven but both boys still in bed (Ollie did not nap yesterday, despite our best efforts). I'm still holding out hope for a Christmas miracle -- that is, a December 25th baby -- though there are no indications that will be the case. In the meantime, I will revel in watching Oliver enjoy the first Christmas he probably has enough faculties to process and, if I'm doing everything right, enjoy a juicy turkey breast that's been bathing since Thursday afternoon.

Thanks giving, Week 50

2010-12-20T14:32:00.000-06:00

This is a week that epitomizes the need for giving thanks. For example:

I could be upset that my garage is flooded, the guest apartment bare and unusable, and my house full of misplaced furniture. Instead (as Wes puts it), I'm thankful for the opportunity to redecorate the guest apartment -- and harass Wes to get the unused furniture out of the house.
I could be upset that my house is completely filthy and seems even more so with the gray skies of winter. Instead, I'm thankful that I'm completely done with classes and have some time to clean as much as possible before the baby comes.
I could be upset that it took me to very last day of the semester -- last Friday -- to finish my schoolwork for the fall. Instead, I'm thankful that it's done (done!), and so far, I have two A's on my transcript. The third one, well, we'll see.
I could be upset upset that I'm still pregnant, waddling around with my sore back and swollen belly. Instead, I'm thankful that I'm pregnant, that the baby is still moving (though a little less each day), and that I don't have a premie to worry about.
I could be upset that there are virtually no Christmas decorations in my house. Instead, I am thankful for the extra time I've spent with Ollie, the extra rest I've gotten as a result, and the fact that I won't have to take much down after Christmas! Ditto for Christmas cookies (who needs the calories?) and Christmas shopping for Wes (as he put is, he's getting me a new guest apartment, and I'm getting him a new garage).

I guess being thankful is just about how you look at things.

My water broke

2010-12-20T14:24:00.000-06:00

The morning after the flooding happened.

One spot where the water came into the garage.

What was under the carpet.

They took out everything -- including the kitchen sink.

After everything came out and the fans went in.

Ceiling out.

And the labor has only begun. Last Tuesday, Wes came home from work around 5:30pm to have dinner with some friends and their kids. He pulled up to the garage only to find that the door was open, which is very unusual. Upon further inspection, he found that water was pouring into the garage from the ceiling. He went upstairs to the apartment and found the pipe connected to the sink in the kitchenette had burst. He turned off the water and got some of the water up. After dinner with our very understanding friends, I walked across the street to get suggestions on whom to call the next morning. Joe kindly came over, took a look with Wes and both our dogs, and had his guys in the next morning.

Juan and Pablo came first thing Wednesday. Wes took the day off and ended up helping out with the tearing out process (which Joe found strange and kind of funny). They moved all the furniture into the living room of the house, tore up the carpet, removed the kitchenette (which had been destroyed by the water, took the ceiling out of the garage, and got some fans up to start drying things. The weatherman had been calling for ice that day, so I'd put a bunch of salt down on the back patio, which was subsequently tracked through the kitchen and living room. I, meanwhile, was upstairs trying to finish a paper due on Friday and then off to pick up Oliver at lunchtime to take him to a follow-up appointment with his ENT. Ollie and I went to check out the progress when we got home, and I had to tear him away to go back inside.

The plumber has since been in and repaired the offending pipes. We are now waiting for the insurance people to look at Joe's bid for repairs. Wes and I visited Home Depot briefly the other night to look at paint colors, carpet swatches, and kitchen cabinets. The bathroom is fine, so we don't have to do anything in there that we know of. We don't know how much any of this is going to cost, but we are looking forward to updating the space. The carpet was really awful, and paint color was horribly ugly. There was no insulation between the floor of the apartment and the ceiling in the garage, so that will be added, along with wrapping the pipes. Wes also finally managed to find the cut-off point so that we have the option of turning off the water when it gets into the single digits. We also decided to replace the window air conditioning unit with a wall heat pump that would allow us to keep the apartment from getting bone cold like it does when no one is out there.

All of this happened, of course, after we had a leak on our kitchen in the house. Wes had to replace the flusher on the toilet in the kids' bathroom upstairs. A ring hadn't sealed properly when he put the tank back on, causing water to leak slowly out and around the base of the toilet and then through the ceiling. We now have a lovely brown stain on our kitchen ceiling, waiting for some paint. Wes had been feeling guilty about that but realizes now what a small issue it is compared to the new challenge.

Not the ideal time for this to happen -- what with the colder temperatures and guests coming in the next 2-6 weeks, plus a baby on the way. And not the ideal way to redecorate a space. But we've been upbeat about the situation -- save my 36-hour mental breakdown about all the furniture stuffed into the house (I need a feng shui expert!). Hopefully, by late January, we'll have a newer, nicer guest apartment, which will also serve as a place for me to work twice a week when the babysitter is here and I'm not in class.

Stairs to the garage.

The humane harmonica

2010-12-16T09:06:00.001-06:00

Anyone who has ever been in my house, met my dog, or even probably had a phone conversation with me knows that Lucy barks a lot. She barks at random noises in the house, delivery trucks just passing by, people walking on the street, and on occasion, her own reflection in the back door. She's a beagle. She likes to bark. When things get really serious -- like the delivery man stops out front and brings a package to the door -- the fur at her collar and her tail stands up. I'm sure, if she could just get through that front door, she would like...jump on him and lick him endlessly. Nonetheless, the barking can get tiresome. It's very loud, and she doesn't stop after announcing whatever she's seen outside. She just keeps barking. We have some natural dog pheromones that supposed to help calm her, and also a bark collar that gives her a mild zap if she barks too loudly. The latter usually works to some degree, but Wes is constantly taking it off her after she stops barking -- which means that it's not in place when she starts barking at the next thing.

Last night, I came up with a new plan. I remembered the one thing that freaks Lucy out almost more than anything -- the sound of Ollie's plastic harmonica. She will run to the opposite side of the house, tail between her legs, if Ollie so much as puts the things to his lips. (She responds similarly to the sound of someone blowing across the top of an empty glass soda bottle.) So for several hours last night, we implemented our new, more humane anti-barking regimen. Every time she barks -- even one little yip that's not part of playtime -- I whip out the harmonica and play a note.

At the moment, Lucy is laying on her big blue bed upstairs where I am working today, snoring loudly and oblivious to any life elsewhere in the house or outside. But just in case, I have my trusty harmonica next to my tea.

Thanks giving, Week 49

2010-12-09T10:04:00.000-06:00

For celebrations:

Of the holidays. Wes and I have his holiday party for work on Friday, and my departmental party is Saturday. I bought a dress since Wes's work party is suits and dresses, and my only maternity dresses are for 80 degree plus weather, about 50 degrees warmer than it's been any day in the last 5. I did leave the tags on it though, just in case.
Of our forthcoming baby girl. One of my classes met at my professor's house yesterday night for a kind of end-of-semester hurrah, and my classmates -- all of whom are in my first-year cohort -- surprised me with a sprinkle (ie. just gifts!). Baby girl received a few outfits, including one adorable jumper/sweater/tights set from Janie and Jack, and some gift cards to Target. One of my closest friends in the group even gave Oliver a gift -- a set of Sesame Street ABC cards, which he has already spread out and enjoyed thoroughly.
Of my 600th post on this blog. Amazing, isn't it. Almost 5 years since I started blogging! Any nominations for favorite posts? My sincere thanks to those (three, four?) of you who read regularly and especially those who comment. I'm not sure if I blog more for me or others, especially this one that is more a me-and-my-life kind of blog with fewer pictures of cute kids, but I enjoy it either way.

Nashville at Christmas

2010-12-05T21:12:00.003-06:00

Oliver and I went to the ICE! and SNOW! exhibits at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel today. The ICE! exhibit was for sure a little more than he could appreciate right now, but it is amazing for older kids and adults. There's an entire storyline, this year the animated short film Santa Claus is Comin' to Town, done in scenes carved from ice. These are huge scenes that cover an area the size of several football fields when put together. The top picture, for example, filled the space the fits the front two rooms on my house. Santa was my height. The Radio Flyer bicycle you see if an actual kid's bicycle. And this wasn't even the biggest scene. It's really impressive to see.

There's music playing throughout the exhibit that goes along with the story, and there's an adult and kids' ice slide in the middle that's optional. They give out big, blue parkas to everyone to wear while they go through, which especially helps if you go on the ice slide. It was kind of hard to hear anything, or in my case try to talk to Ollie or hear what he was saying, because of the music and probably three layers of hats we had on.

The final scene at the very end of the exhibit, after the "The End" sign, was a room with a huge nativity done in clear ice. Oliver liked this part a little more because he recognized the various animals in the scene. I pointed out to him Mary and Joseph and the Baby Jesus, too. It was very extensive and pretty.

I don't know that I will go to this every year. It's really expensive (fortunately, kids under 4 are free, hence my willingness to take Ollie this year), and if it's not a theme that's really interesting to you, it's just big blocks of ice. But it's one of those "Nashville at Christmas" things to do that I'd passed on last year, so I really wanted to go this year and feel like I was seeing some of the local holiday fare.

Thanks giving, Week 48

2010-11-25T22:16:00.000-06:00

For little things:

fingerprints on our front storm door;
"Songbird," by Fleetwood Mac;
my dog laying in the sunlight coming through the front door ;
chocolate chip cookies;
a text message from my sister to say that she loves me and my family;
a patient husband;
bathtubs big enough for mommy and kids;
the Magic Eraser;
Skype;
school buses;
paint samples;
another Thanksgiving.

Thanks giving, Week 47

2010-11-18T12:53:00.000-06:00

Eleven -- ELEVEN -- days off from school. That doesn't mean no schoolwork, of course, but it does mean naps. Naps! And hopefully nursing this cold. And maybe I'll even watch some of my Anne of Green Gables collector's edition DVD set that arrived yesterday in the mail.

Thanks giving, Week 46

2010-11-14T21:46:00.002-06:00

This week:

I am thankful for Costco for supplying (in exchange for our money, of course) the variety of foods that were made available to World Pneumonia Day celebrants so that I didn't have to do much food preparation.
I am thankful to the lady who kindly overlooked the fact that Oliver's rubber ducky, which he'd been tossing into the air with great excitement all evening, landed in her beans. (The ducky spent the remainder of the evening getting a "bath.")
I am thankful to the several Vanderbilt employees -- all moms themselves -- who spent the better part of the evening gushing over, smiling at, playing with, and tickling my son, who was very well behaved (ducky episode notwithstanding) and seemed to have enjoyed himself thoroughly.
I am thankful to Derrick, one of Wes's fellow attendings, who brought a beautiful bouquet of flowers, built Lego towers with Oliver, and even stayed after to help clean up. Likewise to Angie, who brought a pumpkin-shaped container of Reece's peanut butter cups, Rolo's, and Hershey's Kisses. (The scale does not thank you, but I do.)
I am thankful that the weather has turned cooler, not only because I love fall, but because it means we can store the large quantities of leftover tea, soda, water, and beer in the basement. (Nashville friends, please come by for a drink. There's even a bottle of wine, I think!)
I am thankful to the lead researcher who was here on Friday. She interned at Children's Memorial in Chicago before Wes and I were even alive, gave birth at Vanderbilt to children who are now older than us, and was the first female attending at Vanderbilt. She is also one of the researchers primarily responsible for the HIB vaccine that all children now receive (a contribution for which she received, at some point, death threats from anti-vaccine folks). She is smart, kind, supportive, and has contributed a lot to women in the field and the general health and well being of my child as one who received this vaccine.

On an unrelated note:

I am thankful to Wes, who has patiently and repeatedly looked at paint samples on the wall of the nursery and even formed an opinion (despite being colorblind), and offered for me to do whatever I want, owing in partly to that very disability.

And on a completely contrary note:

I am NOT giving thanks to the Quaker Oatmeal people, who reformulated their instant oatmeal, including the Maple and Brown Sugar flavor that I've eaten for years. It does not taste the same. Put the sugar back and give me my oatmeal!

UPDATED: I went to Target today and found that they had several boxes of the old oatmeal left, so I stocked up on 5 boxes! (I was tempted to buy them out, but that somehow seemed like overkill.)

Pnerds

2010-11-11T13:01:00.000-06:00

Wes and I are having lots of people through our house this week. Formerly, this might have meant we were having lots of friends over, or more recently, that we were having neighbors over (like for Oliver's birthday). This week, though, it just means we're having lots of doctors over. Wes hosted journal club at the house last night, so there were 20-25 residents and attendings here. We did a little cleaning beforehand and more after. Journal club is always catered, so we also have a bunch of leftover nacho chips with various layers of nacho dip in the refrigerator, plus a variety of drinks. Not to be outdone by the residency program, though, on Friday we will also host around 30 researchers in honor of the 2nd Annual World Pneumonia Day (you did know about this coming up, right?). The head researcher on the pneumonia project Wes is part of evidently saw this day as an opportunity to celebrate their work, though it does seem a little strange to have a party to "celebrate" pneumonia. So the refrigerator is also full of snacks and appetizers for Friday, plus some wine and beer. Oliver and I will be here for this one (I had class last night, and Wes stayed with some friends), though Lucy will once again "retreat" to the garage. This is a little more party-like than journal club, which has an academic function, so we're making a sign for the wall and things like that. We even got a couple of stuffed, fuzzy microbes to give away as door prizes.

Aren't we so, so cool?

The best thing about Las Vegas

2010-11-07T20:49:00.000-06:00

Is that they serve Pepsi products. When I wanted something to drink with my quesadillas or hamburger (my dinners while I was there), I got to have Pepsi. Not Coke, not Sprite because I didn't want to drink Coke. I got Pepsi. And that, folks, was the one highlight of Las Vegas. I know they say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but I just had to share.

I spent the last three days at the Rio in Vegas for a conference of multicultural educators. It's a conference that includes practitioners, teacher educators, and researchers all in one (not especially common in the field) and, in part because of its multicultural membership, has a unique vibe -- slam poetry between plenary sessions, a Shabbat blessing before the awards dinner, African carvings presented to the award recipients. Just not the common scene at the conferences I've been to. And, for that very reason, rather refreshing. I get funded for two conferences in my first year, and I don't have to be presenting at either. After the first year, funding for conferences in dependent upon my being first or second author on a paper. So I wanted to use my funding this year. Unfortunately, the conferences that most made sense for me to go to were in mid-December and mid-February, about 4 weeks before and 4 weeks after my due date -- not great times for traveling. My advisor, however, was receiving an award at this conference and thought it might make sense for me to go. There were a dozen or so "big names" in the field there, and he's in a position now where he knows these people and could introduce me (which he did). So I decided to go.

There's a reason, though, that most people don't travel alone, seven months pregnant, to Las Vegas. There's the alcohol, the late shows, the second hand smoke. Add to that someone who has no plans to gamble and is rather put off by women in lingerie serving alcohol in public spaces (or, well, women in lingerie doing almost anything in public), and Las Vegas was about the worst place I could've gone. It's not that I have something against the town. Well, okay, I guess I do. I find rather objectionable the sense of hedonism that is ingrained in the town. But I'm smart enough to realize there is (I sincerely hope) more to it than that. It was just that, traveling alone and without a way to get around town, and without anyone I knew in town to show me the backside of the city (or the front side, maybe in my mind), it just came off kind of dirty. But then, maybe that was just all the smoke.

There was something a little strange to me about having a multicultural educators conference there. On the one hand, Vegas is perhaps the place where being different is almost a requirement for fitting in, which supports the inclusive nature of multicultural education. On the other hand, the nature of the economy and the chauvinistic, sexist practices at play as part of it seemed incongruous with the organization's goals -- like having a cardiologist's convention at a Krispy Kreme.

So like I said, nothing personal against Las Vegas. It's just not my kind of town. I think I'm more a DC, Asheville, Denver, Portland, Seattle kind of person. Even Chicago. But the Pepsi -- now that I liked.

Thanks giving, Week 45

2010-11-07T18:16:00.000-06:00

I am thankful for safe and speedy air travel. I am thankful for a community of individuals who are invested in improving schools for our most underserved students and who are committed to equitable education. I am thankful for a friendly, wise, respected, and kind advisor. I am thankful for a first-row seat on a four-hour flight (read: 3 trips to lavatory, each way). I am thankful to my mother, who kept my little boy happy and occupied in my absence and my big boy fed. And most of all, I am thankful to be home.

Lyrics I love

2010-10-30T21:22:00.000-05:00

Heard recently on the radio (and why I love Nashville):

"Rain makes corn/Corn makes whisky/Whisky makes my baby/Feel a little frisky"
"I'm pretty good at drinkin' beer"
and my current favorite, in a song that could be considered a love song of sorts, "I'd like to check you for ticks."

Thanks giving, Week 44

2010-10-30T21:17:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful for recipes, especially those that:

Yield meals for several nights, like the soups and chili I make in the colder weather.
Are relatively easy and tasty and not too, too terribly unhealthy (like the carrot, oatmeal, applesauce, raisin muffins recipe I got from my mom and that Oliver refers to as "cupcakes").
Are somewhat seasonal, like the one I found today for Quinoa Pumpkin Pancakes.
Can be made ahead of time and frozen mostly prepared, like the few dishes I'll make in early December to be de-thawed and eaten after baby comes. I did this when I was pregnant with Oliver and found it really nice to have some big, tasty meals that I could pop out when I just didn't feel like cooking -- but did feel like eating :)
Oliver can help with. That child just loves to help. Thank goodness for our step stool -- and hand vac.

Thanks giving, Week 43

2010-10-24T20:41:00.000-05:00

Today, in Osborne's, I found one gallon of Nutty Chocolate Bluebell Ice Cream. I've been looking for more of this flavor since I first had it months ago. Many bowls of thanks giving for this one.

Thanks giving, Week 42

2010-10-22T22:01:00.003-05:00

A brief list:

I'm thankful for the stacks at Peabody Library. They're very, very old-school library, dirty and dusty. I like to sit in my study carrel (I always go to one in particular), with a window right next to me, and do schoolwork. There's less distraction there than in my pod, which I share with other doctoral students.
I'm thankful for PDFs. I had to look up an article a few weeks ago on microfiche. Google Scholar is way, way easier.
I'm thankful for PetSmart, and the lady there who, for a relatively small sum of money, bathed my dog, clipped her nails, and brushed her until there was hardly any fur left for her to shed around my house. Oliver is also thankful, but was very concerned all morning about where Lucy had gone.
I'm thankful for whoever came up with the frog potty, without which no progress (however small) would have been made in the potty training arena.
I'm thankful that I was able to easily fix the missing channels from our television so that Wes could watch some of the baseball playoffs. He's been teaching Oliver the calls the umpire does. I'm furthermore thankful that (unless I jinx it) the Rangers will beat the Yankees. Now if only the Giants can do the same with the Phillies. (I don't really like anyone specifically in baseball. I just don't like some teams.)

Thanks giving, Week 41

2010-10-13T11:27:00.004-05:00

This week in thanks giving:

My statistics class was cancelled today. This gave me not only a break from statistics class, but also an extra 2 hours to study for an exam tonight in another class. Two hours I can definitely use (and clearly am, since I'm here updating my blog).
Quizlet, an online learning tool. I used this to study the 120 terms for my exam tonight. The site lets you make flashcards, then study them, sort into piles of ones you know and don't know, and makes practice tests and games out of them. I spent 10 minutes this morning trying to beat one of my classmate's high scores on one of the games :)
Glasses. Because I swear my contacts aren't doing anything for me, and I get headaches if I wear them while reading off the computer all day.
The Time Machine function on Macs. Makes backing up the computer so, so easy.
A 20% coupon for a rug place so I could get the nursery rug for cheaper. Still backordered, but at least it's cheaper.
Fall break. I get days "off" that I normally don't have classes anyway, but it's the spirit of the university holiday that makes me feel more relaxed. I guess.

Thanks giving, Week 40

2010-09-30T21:45:00.001-05:00

I am thankful for fall.

The weather is cooler. It's been in the 70s for the past week, and the highs for this weekend are in the low 60s. There is one tree on Belmont Avenue that is starting to change colors, and there's a few more crunchy leaves on Peabody's campus.

October will be a bad month for Wes. He has class again, shifts on the weekend and at night, plus a trip to Chicago for his oral boards. But fall is his favorite month, so I will try to remind him -- when he has time to breathe -- to look outside and enjoy it. Oliver will almost certainly be outside a lot, mowing the lawn or raking leaves. And even if I have to sit in the plastic folding chairs out there with my laptop, I plan to soak up as much of it as I can.

Thanks giving, Week 39

2010-09-15T08:56:00.000-05:00

Ten years ago today, I went on a first date. It's memorable only because it was my last first date. My date that night -- a fellow senior at Davidson, pre-med and the pitcher for the baseball team -- went with me to see The Princess and the Pea at the Children's Theater in Charlotte. I packed chicken salad and pita bread, and we ate dinner at a picnic table across the street from the theater. A few hours later, we got back to campus and watched the opening ceremonies of the 2000 Summer Olympics on television, then took a walk around campus (in part to check on his mating fruit flies). And if my memory serves me, we stayed up into the wee hours of the morning just talking. Seriously -- it was weeks before he kissed me.

A little less than four years later, I married that guy, and four years after that, I had his baby. Five minutes ago, I sent them both off to school for the day. So this week, I'm thankful for firsts -- first dates and first kisses -- and for a lifetime more of both.

Love you, hunny!

Thanks giving, Week 38

2010-09-12T20:33:00.001-05:00

This week's Thanks giving post is brought to you by the number 2.

I'm thankful for my son, who turned 2 years old today. This time 2 years ago (8:29pm), he'd been in the world for about an hour and was probably being checked into the NICU at Prentice Women's Hospital (where, fortunately, he only stayed for 2 days before being discharged with a tub of Aquaphor). I'm also thankful for the probably 40 people who came to his birthday party today and to the people at the bakery who baked and iced the cupcakes we fed to them (and for which we handsomely paid, but still...).
I'm thankful for second chances, specifically for the baby girl in my belly who will not only be a second child but is also, in her own way, a second chance.
I'm thankful for a second to sit down, as my lower back and feet are wicked tired, to use an expression I have no right to use, after a day of cleaning the house and almost two hours of mixing and mingling with guests.
And I'm thankful for seconds. Speaking of which, where are those leftover cupcakes...

Thanks giving, Week 37

2010-09-04T14:20:00.002-05:00

This Tuesday, just as I finished my first full week as a doctoral student, I received in the mail the diploma for my master's degree. It was an interesting overlap, to realize how much I'd done to earn that diploma and realize that the current program is at least five times as much. But the former was also a pathway to the latter.

So this week, I'm being thankful for the opportunity to learn -- from the something new every day, like the importance of keeping Oliver parked in the very center of the aisle when there's glass cans of olives within arm's reach, to the big ideas, like the importance of putting aside school learning to spend a peaceful and beautiful afternoon with my boys out in the woods at a nearby park. I enjoy learning, especially in the formal sense of the word.

And on a related note, I made a purchase today of two skeins of yarn and some size 9 knitting needles. I have to learn something new for a class project in order to map my learning process against one of the major theories we're studying (does it seem to anyone else like asking medical students to play Operation and reflect on the similarity to actual surgery?), so I figured I'd choose something I'm unlikely to be good at -- anything kinesthetic -- and something that I might actually want to become proficient at in the future. My mother has the most amazing creative skills -- gardening, sewing, crocheting, decorating cakes -- and I inherited none of them. But I've always loved her handmade crocheted items the best. While I'm satisfied to buy local produce from the Farmer's Market, kids' clothes from wherever is closest and on sale, and cake from the grocery store or a bakery, there's something inherently special about a blanket or scarf or hat that someone made for you. Maybe it's because it's warm and fuzzy. So armed with my purchases, suggestions from my former college roommate, and whatever YouTube videos I can find to help, I will -- between now and when the assignment is due -- hopefully learn to knit -- some, kind of. Beyond that, we'll see how much room for learning is left in my head.

Thanks giving, Week 36

2010-08-29T18:02:00.000-05:00

This week I'm thankful for:

My Macbook and all things electronic.
The Kroger 3 for $10 special on Bluebell ice cream this week.
A specific brand of organic lemonade that Kim got me hooked on at her house, also on special this week (4 for $5!!!).
A chance to instruct my very first graduate-level class (or undergraduate, for that matter). It's only four students, but I'll take it!
Being a first-year doc student, which means I'm not really expected to know anything yet.
Linking to a friend's blog thanks for a comment she left on AD.
The news that a blogger whom I've been following (who has suffered miscarriages, failed IVFs, and marital woes as a result) has made it to 12 weeks in a spontaneous pregnancy (I hesitate to call it a surprise, given how hard they've been trying, but I'm sure it surprised them that this happened without medical intervention). I won't link out of respect for her privacy, but it's always great news to know someone has made it safely to the end of first trimester. I pray I get to celebrate similar news for other dear people in my life, some of whom read this blog.
Our beautiful yard, where we spent some family time this weekend.
Vanderbilt's new Sitter Service and Back-Up Care Service. A working mother's dream come true.
Another week of life for which to be thankful.

Thanks giving, Week 35

2010-08-21T11:28:00.000-05:00

Graduate school is now, almost, begun. I spent Wednesday and Thursday of this week at TA (teaching assistant) orientation and all day Friday at graduate school orientation. I've met a lot of new people, many of whom will be my classmates and, some of them I hope, my friends, over the next few years. I'm nervous about starting this program. Each new endeavor like this brings up fears of failure, and there's a realization that this may be something that while I'm capable of (or not), I just can't balance with my desires for motherhood and a family life. I'm hoping that, with help from Wes and outside caregivers, I can find that balance, but I also know what my decision would be if I couldn't. It's a scary thing, to risk failure at something. We all do it every day in small ways, but I recognize it more here because it's a big thing -- five years of my life and a financial investment by the university. I'm hoping it goes well, and regardless, I'm thankful for the chance to succeed.

Thanks giving, Week 34

2010-08-14T17:45:00.000-05:00

This week, I'm thankful for getting to be -- come January -- the mom of both a son and a daughter. Variety is the spice of life, they say, and mine tastes pretty good these days.

Thanks giving, Week 33

2010-08-08T14:33:00.050-05:00

This past week, I got to visit my dear friend Kim and her daughter Amelia out in Denver. Oliver came, too, and it was a lovely visit. I don't think it would hurt her feelings for me to say that I was a little nervous about this visit. Kim and I have been friends for around 13 years now. We met at an honors program in North Carolina the summer before our senior year of high school and just hit it off. We saw each other maybe once or twice in the years thereafter, while she was in college at UNC-Chapel Hill and I was at Davidson, but we never spent more than a few hours or a day together. The next time saw her for any length of time was last summer at her baby shower. Kim and I are dear friends, no doubt, but there's a difference between blogs, email, and occasional phone call and five days together with two children under two all under the same roof. Normal friends visit each other for an afternoon each week. They swap childcare so the friend can get her hair cut. They don't fly out and move in for almost a week, which is what we we did. So I was worried -- about being in the way, about trying to help but being unhelpful, about making conversation that became too personal. My worries were, naturally, unbased. Kim and I (I think) had a great time, and it was hardly awkward. We spent equal time in idle chit-chat, serious conversation, and content quiet (usually while kids were sleeping). I tried to minimize Oliver's footprint on their house (somewhat unsuccessfully) and stay out the way when that seemed the thing to do.

So this week, I'm thankful for dear friends, near and far, on blogs, via email, and by phone, and those that let me come and move in for a week at a time. So thank you, Kim. I don't have too many close friends in my life, the people who I share my happiest and saddest news with, the first people I vent to, the people I tell ALL of Oliver's stories to, the people I know who regularly read my blog. You are a treasure in my life, and I hope there are more cross-country visits in the years to come.

Thanks giving, Weeks 31 and 32

2010-08-01T14:43:00.000-05:00

Somewhat belatedly, I am thankful for my marriage. Last Saturday, July 24, was my 6th wedding anniversary with Wes. It's hard to believe we've been married for six years, but I can hardly remember what my life was like before Wes. I know what I was like, I remember who I was, but I can't remember how my days were filled before him. I would never say, He is my life or he is my world, but if I'm going to pick a cliche, he does complete me. Makes me a better person. Makes me feel like a better person, anyway.

I don't know if our marriage has turned out like Wes expected, but I think it's fair to say that neither of us have been disappointed. We have some challenges, things we work on constantly, balances we try to reach, but we are truly happy with each other. I think I would be someone very different today had I married a different kind of man, and I while I don't know that the same is true for Wes, I do think his life would look very different had he married a different kind of woman. Oliver has been, truly, the icing on our wedding cake. He has added much to our life and our marriage. And not just in our roles as mother and father, but in the way we work with and appreciate each other as spouses. Hopefully this new baby will just deepen that.

I'm thankful for my marriage this week, too, as Wes and I spending the week apart, both traveling but separately. He's at a conference in New Hampshire, and Oliver and I are soon off to visit my friend in Denver. (Which means I'm also very thankful for my friend Rachel, who is staying at our house with her two dogs to take care of Lucy -- and hopefully keep our plants alive.) Wes and I have spent lots of time apart in our years of dating and years married. From 8-5 workdays that led into 4-midnight shifts to 36-hour ICU shifts in residency to conferences and family visits to a month in Cleveland and another in Africa, Wes and I have learned to be apart. It's not something I look forward to -- I have plenty of space, so I don't need that "alone time" (which is now, of course, alone with Oliver) -- but it's something we both tolerate well. We certainly talk on the phone with each other more often now when we're apart than we did previously. We seek that connection with each other and want to share stories about Oliver. This week is strange because we're both away from home but not with each other.

So I'm thankful for Wes, which I've written about before, but I'm especially thankful for my marriage. That relationship has, as much as anything and more than many things, been responsible for my happiness in life. I love you, husband.

Welcome to our Living Room (Remix)

2010-07-28T15:00:00.000-05:00

The desk (actually a dining room table from World Market) is new, as is the computer on it and the plant, Flora. The Succulent Sextuplets in the window are doing well. The chair needs replaced, as it is sagging and uncomfortable for long periods of time, but it actually looks fine in the room. Except for the bare walls, it's very much done!

007

2010-07-21T14:45:00.000-05:00

Wes and I spent this weekend killing things, some intentionally and some unintentionally. We killed a lot of ants, and unfortunately we also seem to have killed a bush in our yard.

The bush was the first project of the afternoon, and honestly even if we knew what was going to happen, I'm not sure we would have done anything differently. We have quite a few tall, blooming bushes in the yard, and I did cut them pretty heavily back this spring, but evidently not enough. As Wes puts it, they are a victim of their own success. Many of them are getting so top heavy that they bend over in the yard. This one bush has fallen over several times. There were lots of branches sticking up at the roots, with all the blooming branches towards the front. So the whole thing just kept leaning heavily and blocking our access to the front gate. Wes knows not to transplant in the sumer, but it was either that or just rip it out permanently. So he (and Ollie) dug it out, deepened the hole, and then replanted it so that the root base settled more firmly in the hole. I held it in place so that the dirt helped lean it back and bury it more properly. When he was done, it looked great. A few hours later, that bush looked sad. Really sad. Wes watered it, a lot. That night, it looked dead. And it still does. We're not sure if we should tear it out and put in something new next spring (Wes wants to cover the window on the neighbor's house) or leave it and see if it bounces back.

We were more successful with the ants, or so it seems thus far. We've had problems with ants in our kitchen since we moved in last year. They got worse with rain. We've sprayed Ortho Home Defense in the kitchen, the cabinets, sometimes on the counters, outside the house, and even in the basement repeatedly over the past year, but the ants always came back. We've been able to keep the cabinets clear this year, but the counters, sinks, dishwasher, and even trash were often overrun with them. My sister-in-law recently recommended this other product, Terro, a liquid bait system, so we decided to give it a try. Wes put the baits around the kitchen, and that night, we even put one on the table. Wes decided to smear some honey on the table to attract the ants, and we went to bed. In the morning, there were ants all over one of the baits on the counter, and there were lots of ants on the table -- eating the honey. I wiped the honey off and left the bait, and Ollie and I had breakfast on the child's table upstairs in the nursery. Within a half an hour, the ants were all over the bait on the table. We left it there for a day since we were out all day, then heavily cleaned the table and floor next to it the next day before eating there again. The ants are still visiting the bait on the counter, but we haven't seen any anywhere else in the kitchen. It's hard to know how long we'll have to leave the bait out and, once it's put away, if they'll stay gone.

For now, Wes and I are retiring our license to kill.

Thanks giving, Week 30

2010-07-18T08:51:00.000-05:00

This might seem like an odd time to say this, but I'm really thankful for Oliver's daycare. The facility he's out now (ooh, that sounds very institutional, doesn't it) is an employer-sponsored daycare, one of four sites available to Vanderbilt faculty and staff. You'd think with that many locations it wouldn't take long to get a spot there, but (like with all the decent daycares around here, it seems), the wait list lasts anywhere from nine months to more than a year usually. Because it's employer-sponsored, it has generous hours and rarely closes (they even send out surveys to see if enough people have to work major holidays -- like Christmas -- in which case they would stay open for those who need it) and all at the rate of a really cheap daycare.

Oliver started at a different facility last August when I went back to school because we were told he still had quite a wait for the Vanderbilt daycare. The place was fine, especially for an infant. The women there knew him, loved on him, and he came home happy, so I wasn't worried. But six weeks into the school year, I got a call that they had a spot available at his current place, and it was even the location on Peabody's campus. So two weeks later, he moved over with no adjustment necessary, and he's still there loving it. We put in our application to the center last April when we came to Nashville house hunting. I didn't know what I would be doing during the year but figured it didn't hurt to put in an application on the likelihood that I'd need a place for him, so our wait was April to October.

Wes and I rolled our eyes before having Oliver at people who said that daycare was "good for" their kids or that their kids "really liked it." I don't know that the daycare is necessarily good for Oliver, but it certainly doesn't hurt him at all and I do think he's learning things there. Not that he couldn't learn them at home, but it's nice that there's some effort at learning there, too. And I do kind of think he likes it. I know part of his up-and-at-em let's get to daycare in the morning is simply routine -- breakfast, shoes, hat, daycare. But I've seen him when he gets there and when I pick him up, and he likes parts of it. He knows his teachers and his classmates. He loves the toys they have there that we don't have at home. He likes the playground and shovels and tractors. He's getting to the age that he plays with and not just nearby the other kids. I watched several of them do ring-around-the-rosie, no adults involved, one day. Oliver showed up, joined in between two kids, and ringed himself around that rosie. He naps fine there, eats very well, and comes home filthy and worn out. On a typical week, he gets dropped off around 9am and picked up around 3pm, which means he's there 30 hours a week. It's not trivial, certainly, but it's not horrible. There are lots of kids there whose typical day is 8-5 or even later. And there are days Ollie gets dropped off a bit earlier or stays until 4pm or, if Wes has to pick him up, even 5 or 5:30pm, but that's usually one day here and there and not every day. It's obvious on longer days that he's ready to come home.

Having the daycare there, convenient and affordable and decent, means Wes and I are able to do what we need to for ourselves and our careers and educations without worrying constantly about how he's doing and what he's missing at home. Ollie is still going on my six-week "vacation," usually 2-3 days a week, in part to keep him in the routine -- we have to pay to keep his spot anyway, and I don't want him to have to get used to it again in the fall, especially when he moves up to a 2-year-old room -- and in part to give me time to run errands that are easier without him, get things done around the house without being hounded to read books, and just take a nap if I want to. It's a luxury, one I feel is sometimes at his expense, but I also think that, if used sparingly isn't doing any damage and makes me much more fun to be with when he's at home with me. On the days he does stay home this summer, I don't worry about housework or errands or anything like that. We just play and do fun things. That's not true of every day, like weekends, but it's fun for those few days we are just with each other.

I have been thankful for the daycare in the past week for a different reason. I got Oliver's cold and am completely hoarse. Parenting with absolutely no voice is not the easiest thing, so Ollie went for short days at daycare so that he could play and I could rest. My favorite part of the daycare day is, of course, picking him up. He usually immediately drops whatever he's doing and runs over, wanting picked up. He walks to "Oliver's car," and on the way home talks about his day and "dada" (usually followed by "work"), "Soosy," "home."

5 things

2010-07-15T10:32:00.000-05:00

Let me begin by saying that I love my husband. I really do. Very much. We will have been together 10 years this September and married 6 years in another week or so. We are for sure happily married.

But...

There are just a few things he does (or, I note as I reread this, that he doesn't do) that drive me absolutely nuts. And I feel comfortable sharing these things because 1) I've told him (in some cases on numerous occasions) that they drive me nuts, 2) they aren't the big, serious challenges of our relationship that we persistently work on, and 3) they're really funny when you think about them, things I know shouldn't bother me but do, and so it's really more a commentary on me than him.

1. When Wes uses the sponges in the kitchen, he leaves them soggy. He doesn't rinse them, he doesn't squeeze them out, he doesn't put them on the drying rack to drip dry. He just leaves them, covered in debris or soggy with milk or whatever Oliver has recently spilled. And then they smell. And they're gross. And I mean, is it really that hard to squeeze out the ding-dang sponge before you leave them in the sink?
2. He is oblivious to many things. And sometimes I try to tell myself that it's because he's focused on something or because he's color blind and literally doesn't see it (like the crumbs on the counter that, even if they do get wiped, are left on the sponge in the sink!). When Oliver was a baby, Wes would change his diaper. Now that he's a toddler, Ollie can go five or six hours with Wes (on the rare occasion they're alone and together that long) without it occurring to Wes the kid might need a dry diaper. Really? He's also pretty slow to respond, which doesn't make sense to me given his personality (baseball pitcher, emergency room physician), but maybe that gets turned off once at home and in the face of a wife who can do the job (usually) equally as well.
3. He won't purge. Why, why do we have to keep years worth of random newspaper articles in the eaves? When we die, some grandchild of ours will inherit this box of random newspapers, and they'll think they're really neat and special, and then they'll sit in a box in their eaves or attic for another two generations. Wes knows my proclivity for clearing things out, so much so that he has a box upstairs marked, "Things Wes would prefer not be thrown away." Hmm, we'll see.
4. He has his own sense of time, which doesn't always make sense with the rest of the world. Wes is very much on time in his academic and professional life. He shows up to meetings on time, is present for things, meets his deadlines. But in his private and social life, not so much. I tell him dinner is ready and on the table, and he's there 20 minutes later. (I tell him I'm ready to have a baby, and a year and a half I get pregnant...). At night, I say I'm going to bed, and he says, "Oh, I'm coming, too." So I lie down in bed but leave the door open. And 15 minutes later he's wandering in, then brushing his teeth and changing, then wanting to talk when he comes to bed. And suddenly it's an hour later than when I wanted to go to bed. And then he falls asleep two seconds after he decides to sleep, and I'm lying awake because I didn't fall asleep when I first laid down. (Okay, so I can see I have some bitterness here. Still.)
5. He doesn't do surprises. Now, I'm a planner, too, so I appreciate that he wants to include me in planning fun things. But sometimes I just want to be surprised. And this has happened...never. Wes isn't the best at celebrating things, like birthdays and anniversaries, which I accept as part of who he is. But it would be nice, just every once in a while, to be truly surprised. Not a surprise party or a surprise trip to Hawaii or something big like that -- just, you know, elaborate flowers or he gets the babysitter and takes me out, or gets a special present I really wasn't expecting. I'm definitely the detail person at home, so perhaps it's just the desire to enjoy myself without having to handle every detail. And he does surprise me in small, fun ways, and we do lots of big, fun things together -- it's just sometimes you want one big surprise to carry the romance.

So let me reprise by saying, I love my husband. I really, really do. I could make a list ten or more times this long about the things I love about him (and perhaps I will for our upcoming anniversary). And I don't have to worry about him seeing this list (and maybe this is thing #6) because he never reads my blog :)

Paper pushers

2010-07-13T22:08:00.000-05:00

I have really enjoyed being a student at Vanderbilt. However, I do have one main complaint. There seems to be some real administrative bureaucracy there that results in paperwork being filled out multiple times, for multiple offices, and for no clear reason. I'm sure there are dozens of examples of this, but here's the most recent. Several months ago, realizing that I was one semester from graduating, I filled out and turned in (to whom, I don't remember) an Intent to Graduate form. Yes, this is a form that tells the registration office that I in fact intend to graduate (not a foregone conclusion, not something a computer system could detect when I completed the classes I had previously identified on a Program of Studies?). Included on this form were (somewhat) reasonable things, like what classes I still had to finish and when I would take them. Less reasonable, what degrees I already had and what my home address is -- gee, seems like I've provided that before...and number of times. Then last month I got a notice that I still needed to file my Intent to Graduate. So I filled out another form and turned it in. Then I got an email that I needed to fill in almost identical information electronically. And then last Saturday I got a note in the mail. It was from the office I'd turned the form into, with a list of the things I still needed to do to graduate -- strangely, it matched exactly the list I had provided to them.

I did get some more friendly paperwork this week. Monday afternoon I got an email with a letter as attachment letting me know I had received a high pass on my capstone essay. I don't know how common or rare this rating is, but it is the highest, which is nice. And just in case the email didn't do it for me, the sender let me know that I would be receiving another copy soon -- in the mail.

Thanks giving, Week 29

2010-07-11T23:22:00.000-05:00

I am thankful for several really major events in my life, one that happened recently and one that happened, well, about 13 weeks ago.

The first, that happened most recently, is that I am officially done with my master's program. I submitted my final project for my final course for my program yesterday around 10:30pm. I will get my grade for the class and the results of my capstone essay (a pass/high pass/redo kind of scale) late this week, and then my diploma will come in August. It feels really nice to be completely done. I, of course, will spend some part of the next few weeks reading books and articles related to my studies that I just didn't have time to get to during the year, but it will be things I choose, at the rate I choose, with no paper to write afterwards. I really enjoyed my master's program. I got so lucky coming when I did, that Vanderbilt has rolling admissions, that I found a job that paid for almost all of it (an necessary feat when classes are $1125/hour, and I had a 30-hour program), that the program was in its first year and so flexible, that the faculty member was wonderful and will continue to be my adviser for my doctorate. There was a lot I would change about the program, but it was great for me. I always hesitated to go back to school for education because I couldn't imagine liking an English education program, but this program (in Learning, Diversity, and Urban Studies) was just right, and it really helped me figure out where I want to go with my subsequent studies. I had a few weeks off over the Christmas holidays, but since then I've either been in class or under the expectation that I was working on my capstone. And working my job during that time. Now, I am -- as far as school and work are concerned -- completely free for the next six or so weeks. Then I have TA training, meetings with my adviser, and classes begin in late August. I know and don't know what I'll be doing for the next few weeks. I have a list of some household nuisances to deal with -- say, phones that don't ring when people call them- -, along with a list of fun things around Nashville that I want to see and do, some that will include Oliver and some that will not. I'm taking a trip to Denver in early August to see a dear friend whom I haven't spent more than a few hours with since we met the summer before our senior year of high school. I'm going to mostly just be and, hopefully, get bored in a way that will make starting back at the beginning of another program -- one that lasts at least five years -- seem like a really great idea!

As for the thing that happened about 13 weeks ago, well, you can hear all about it here, with the official announcement here. Wes and I are thrilled, of course. I am excited to be sharing the pregnancy with several friends who are also expecting, one right around the same time as me and with a son just about Oliver's age. We are still a bit nervous about the whole thing -- early pregnancy is that way -- but looking forward to an anatomy scan in about five weeks and feeling movement around the same time.

And for one small other thing, I'm thankful that The Closer premiers this week. I do so miss my TNT drama.

Blogging backlog

2010-07-11T21:20:00.001-05:00

I am woefully behind on both of the blogs, but it seems that just happens every once in awhile. "Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today." And well, sometimes, you just can't do it today, and so it gets put off. And here we are. It's finally tomorrow.

Thanks giving, Week 28

2010-07-06T11:06:00.037-05:00

The whole family headed down to my parents' house in Georgia this past weekend to see my siblings and their families. Literally everyone was there, something that hasn't happened since Oliver was three months old and meeting his aunts and uncles (and grandfather) for the first time. It was loud, chaotic, and well, home. We went to pools (yes, plural), the grandboys (and grandma) played in the woods behind their house, making dams and tossing rocks. Oliver bunked on a mattress in my parents' room. I tried unsuccessfully to get some reading done, instead getting sucked in late Sunday night to the Twilight saga, courtesy of my sister's DVD copies of the first two movies. We ate -- others much more so than me, but I did enjoy my mother's potato salad. There were matchbox car races, which Oliver won, and a sparkler and fireworks show by my brother-in-law, with musical interlude by my sister. I met my brother's new girlfriend, whom Oliver liked almost as much as Jon's dog (which is to say, quite a bit).

The trip down was a nightmare, as the trip down to my parents' house recently seems to be. There was an accident on I-24 that resulted in it taking 2 hours to get the 25 miles to Murfreesboro, where Lucy's kennel was. Then we couldn't find the kennel, then we had to stop for dinner, and then we almost ran out of gas. The trip home was easy, but Wes had to drive so I could read for class, and then he had to work several hours later. It was one of those trips that I normally wouldn't make -- too short a time there, on a holiday weekend, in the middle of busy schedules for me and Wes. But, well, it's family, and if you can't be a little inconvenienced for them, who can you.

So I'm thankful for family -- all of them. I'm thankful for safe, if not easy, trips there and back. And I'm thankful that my mom's offered to come to our house for the next visit. I don't know if I can handle another 3-hour tour that lasts longer.

Thanks giving, Week 27

2010-06-27T18:05:00.011-05:00

I am so thankful for our new 27-inch Mac computer. I have been a PC girl my whole life, but I am now completely converted thanks to this miracle of engineering. I love the thing. We got a new desk in the living room (pictures of the now fully refurbished room to come, eventually), and it's actually small dining room table, so Wes and I decided to put it downstairs instead of putting it upstairs in the nook, where out current computer sits (irregularly used both because of the location and its very, very, very slow operations these days). When Wes asks me my favorite thing about the living room, I say the computer. It is wonderful. I have already used it for several school projects. Really, I love this thing.

Theoretically, this could mean more consistent blogging. Theoretically, of course.

Thanks giving, Week 26

2010-06-19T11:02:00.001-05:00

Thanks giving, Week 25

2010-06-13T22:48:00.000-05:00

This weekend, I spent almost every minute with my son. My capstone essay isn't done, of course, and there's lots of housework and yardwork that needs to be done. But I spent almost two whole days just being with him, on these days that will never be again. For that, I am thankful.

Fireflies

2010-06-07T12:28:00.000-05:00

Desert blooms

2010-06-07T12:18:00.002-05:00

Phoenix

2010-06-07T12:14:00.001-05:00

Wes and I just got back yesterday from his conference in Phoenix, Arizona. This was our first trip away together without Oliver since he was born, and only our second "vacation" trip since we were married (the first being a truly unforgettable trip to Portland, Oregon). There was some work -- I had to finish a final paper for my Maymester class, and Wes was at a work conference where he presented and had a dinner meeting on Friday night. But mostly we were just together. We stayed up late when we wanted to, slept in late when we were able (the time change threw me the first morning), sat by the pool, and ate good meals.

We did do some sight-seeing around Phoenix. We went Friday afternoon to South Mountain Park. We had planned to do a little hiking, but we had some trouble finding trails and ended up just driving to the summit at Dobbins Lookout. There were really great views of the city (from 2300 feet up) and surrounding mountains, and we started to get a real sense of the terrain. We drove briefly around Scottsdale, which is a cute, somewhat touristy area.

Saturday was our big day out on the town. We slept in, then had a big breakfast at Butterfield's Pancake House (New Orleans french toast, with sauteed bananas for me, and Strawberries and Cream Belgian waffle for Wes, and hot chocolate for both!), and then went to the Desert Botanical Gardens near the zoo. It was unbelievably hot outside, but with lots of water and some rest in the shade, it was nice. We saw lots of different cacti, some really pretty flowers, and several geckos. We briefly visited Scottsdale Fashion Square Mall, which might be the fanciest mall I've ever been in, but it didn't have a bookstore, so we weren't there long.

We had dinner with some old Northwestern friends and colleagues almost every night (tortilla soup -- mmmm). It made Wes glad he went there for residency, but certain about his choice to leave for his current job. Mostly it was just nice to have the time together. I read a lot, slept a lot. We did miss Ollie and were sorry to miss the fun that he was having with my mom and sister, but we also enjoyed the freedom we had without him with me, and I knew my mom and sister were having a great time, too.

Thanks giving, Week 24

2010-06-07T11:12:00.000-05:00

By the numbers:

One mother + one sister, in town for six days and five nights with a boy who didn't know we were gone until we came back
Four days and three nights at a resort in Phoenix
Three pools, a lazy river, and a hot tub, open all day and night
Two very relaxed and rested parents
One wonderful weekend

It's a dry heat

2010-06-02T08:37:00.000-05:00

Wes and I are leaving today for Phoenix, Arizona. The SAEM (Society for Academic Emergency Medicine) conference is there this year, and Wes is presenting. As soon as he found out he was going, he asked me to go with him. I haven't been to a conference with him yet, and we haven't been away together since Oliver was born or at all since our trip to Portland several years ago. He'll have some work going on with the conference, and I have to take some schoolwork with me (though had I been more diligent, I would not have had to), but it's hard to go wrong with a resort and four pools. I can read by the lazy river!

I did check the weather this past weekend just to see how hot it was going to be. It was 97 degrees at around 6am, and the high this weekend is 108. I'm taking a new swimsuit with me for sure, but I'm also definitely taking the heavy-duty sunscreen.

Really?

2010-05-28T14:05:00.000-05:00

These were the first two questions on a form I had to fill out when Oliver had his tubes put in. Did anyone think about how people would read -- or answer -- these questions?