Thanks giving, Week 1

Yesterday was Wes's 31st birthday. It is amazing to me that Wes and I have been together for 9 1/2 years now. Nine years ago, Wes and I celebrated his 22nd birthday. We got dressed up, had a dance lesson, and went out to dinner. A few weeks later, he met my family at my oldest brother's wedding. And the rest, as they say, is history. Here we are -- married, in careers, parents. And happy. The last few months have been a challenge. I don't think we expected to miss Chicago as much as we do. I certainly didn't expect to feel the move as much as I did, having moved so much growing up. And though I have friends there, it's not so much the people that I miss -- I'm used to maintaining relationships long distance -- it's the place. It's the feeling I got being there. It's the memories we made there. Wes I got married while he was in medical school, but our marriage really took shape in Chicago. The people that knew us there only knew us as husband and wife. We had fun there. We became a married couple. We grew as individuals, but we grew into each other. We made and had a baby. We became "us."

Wes and I have a good marriage. It is unusual to some, I suppose. I think the best word to describe us is well-matched. Wes and I make sense together. It's not something that I can explain necessarily. It just is. We are better people together than we are alone.

I often hear friends who say of their husbands, "He's the best husband in the world." I don't know that I would ever say that about Wes, and I don't think he would ever say it about me. Not because I don't love him or think he's a great husband. I do. Very much so. He always supports me, he cares about what I think, and he tries to make me happy. But Wes isn't perfect, and he doesn't always know what I need from him has a husband. We're both learning as we go. This I do know: he is a great man, and he is my best friend. Perhaps Wes said it best when he told me that I am the best wife he's ever had. Not as romantic maybe, but true -- and truly sweet.

When Wes and I got married, we wrote our own wedding vows. I said in those vows that I didn't want a fairy tale but something real. And that is what we have. It's up and down, it's hard sometimes, and it's so very special.

So this week, I am thankful for Wes, my husband and my best friend.

“Count your blessings, name them one by one”

My dear friend Kim did a series of posts around Thanksgiving in which she wrote about all the good things going on in her life – husband, new baby, career, and more. It made me think about all the good things in my own life and inspired me to log them. But why stop at just one post – or a week's worth even? So my resolution for the next year, starting this week, is to do one blog post per week in which I give thanks for these things. Sometimes I'll write at length, sometimes I'll just list them. Sometimes it'll be big things, sometimes small. It gives me something to write about each week and puts me in a positive space. To be clear, I'm thankful for a lot of things each day and each week, but this is a chance to write about some of them – so if you're not on my life right away, don't think I don't love you – I'll get to everyone in time.

So close

It's a drizzly, dreary Sunday in Nashville, and I'm trying to get motivated to keep working on my take-home exam. It's the only thing between me and being officially done with classes for the semester. We technically have until Saturday to turn it in, but I told my professor I'd have it to him by 10am on Tuesday, since he preferred to get it in hard copy and is leaving town that afternoon. This give me some additional incentive to get moving. I'm probably halfway done, but still far enough from the finish line that it's just exhausting to think about. It's an analytical exam, in that the test asks us to learn about new topics and read a new article and then analyze them and connect them to existing learning. On the one hand, it's nice that I'm not just regurgitating what I learned all semester. On the other hand, this takes a lot longer, and I'm never quite sure if I'm giving the professor what he's looking for. I just want to do well and show some growth as a student.

Wes, Oliver, and I spent the morning (and some unseemly amount of money for what we bought) at Lowes. We got blinds for the front door, new locks for the front and back doors, a piece to fix the downstairs toilet (which has been out of commission for I don't know how long), a small Shop-Vac for the more industrial cleaning, and lumber for the proposed bookshelves in the front room (which we affectionately refer to as the library). And a 9-volt battery -- for the smoke detector in the garage, which was going off yesterday. We looked at lamps and rugs but decided to keep looking. It was a nice morning together. Oliver spent his time pushing the shopping cart by the lower rung, lamenting the fact that he isn't tall enough to reach the handle. He fell asleep on the way home, then ate lunch, and is now talking to himself in his crib rather than nap as I'd hoped he would.

The Christmas tree is in the corner, still naked as I spent yesterday either working on my exam or trying to keep Oliver from "helping" Wes too much. We're going to put mini white lights on the columns out front and decorate the tree, and that's about it for this year. I'm having some girlfriends over Monday night to make Christmas cookies, so I've got to finish my final early enough to get things cleaned up before they come over.

It's nice knowing that in a day or two I'll be pretty much done for the semester. My PhD application is not finished. I have a personal statement that just needs revised, and I need to resume studying for the GRE. I know studying won't significantly impact my score at this point, but I'll feel a lot more confident going in on the 28th if I take some practice tests, do some more problems, and keep reviewing vocabulary. The school seems to care a lot about these scores, which I find odd for a school of education, but I'm certainly happy to use it to my advantage if I'm able.

We have friends coming over on Saturday evening, family in town from the 22nd-25th, and the 30th to January 3rd. So we'll get some family time in between all that as well as during. I go back to work January 5th and to class January 13th, so I'll get a bit of a break. I'm hoping to have the house in great shape with some sort of plan to keep it that way before next semester starts. A semester in which I have the usual four classes, my job, plus a master's capstone project and news of my acceptance or denial to the PhD program. It's a big deal to me, for sure, but somehow I know that everything will be okay even if I don't get it in. I guess that tells me what's most important to me. The worst thing that could happen is that I don't get in and I stay home next year with Oliver. Not a bad gig.

That said, I'm back to my test. I'd hate for a first-semester incomplete to ruin my chances.