Why you shouldn't try and use a regular-sized table as a hall entry table if your hallway isn't really, really big

Total bruise count at present: 7. This one's the prettiest right now. We still have two pieces of furniture (at least in the near future) to move out, and one to move in, so there's a 70% chance of additional bruises in the next 48 hours. Wes says I am not, under any circumstances, to visit the emergency room until at least some of these clear up. He doesn't want any questions...

Note: This bruise appears on my mid-thigh and was taken very close up. No modesty laws were broken in the taking of this picture.