Let me begin by saying that I love my husband. I really do. Very much. We will have been together 10 years this September and married 6 years in another week or so. We are for sure happily married.
But...
There are just a few things he does (or, I note as I reread this, that he doesn't do) that drive me absolutely nuts. And I feel comfortable sharing these things because 1) I've told him (in some cases on numerous occasions) that they drive me nuts, 2) they aren't the big, serious challenges of our relationship that we persistently work on, and 3) they're really funny when you think about them, things I know shouldn't bother me but do, and so it's really more a commentary on me than him.
1. When Wes uses the sponges in the kitchen, he leaves them soggy. He doesn't rinse them, he doesn't squeeze them out, he doesn't put them on the drying rack to drip dry. He just leaves them, covered in debris or soggy with milk or whatever Oliver has recently spilled. And then they smell. And they're gross. And I mean, is it really that hard to squeeze out the ding-dang sponge before you leave them in the sink?
2. He is oblivious to many things. And sometimes I try to tell myself that it's because he's focused on something or because he's color blind and literally doesn't see it (like the crumbs on the counter that, even if they do get wiped, are left on the sponge in the sink!). When Oliver was a baby, Wes would change his diaper. Now that he's a toddler, Ollie can go five or six hours with Wes (on the rare occasion they're alone and together that long) without it occurring to Wes the kid might need a dry diaper. Really? He's also pretty slow to respond, which doesn't make sense to me given his personality (baseball pitcher, emergency room physician), but maybe that gets turned off once at home and in the face of a wife who can do the job (usually) equally as well.
3. He won't purge. Why, why do we have to keep years worth of random newspaper articles in the eaves? When we die, some grandchild of ours will inherit this box of random newspapers, and they'll think they're really neat and special, and then they'll sit in a box in their eaves or attic for another two generations. Wes knows my proclivity for clearing things out, so much so that he has a box upstairs marked, "Things Wes would prefer not be thrown away." Hmm, we'll see.
4. He has his own sense of time, which doesn't always make sense with the rest of the world. Wes is very much on time in his academic and professional life. He shows up to meetings on time, is present for things, meets his deadlines. But in his private and social life, not so much. I tell him dinner is ready and on the table, and he's there 20 minutes later. (I tell him I'm ready to have a baby, and a year and a half later I get pregnant...). At night, I say I'm going to bed, and he says, "Oh, I'm coming, too." So I lie down in bed but leave the door open. And 15 minutes later he's wandering in, then brushing his teeth and changing, then wanting to talk when he comes to bed. And suddenly it's an hour later than when I wanted to go to bed. And then he falls asleep two seconds after he decides to sleep, and I'm lying awake because I didn't fall asleep when I first laid down. (Okay, so I can see I have some bitterness here. Still.)
5. He doesn't do surprises. Now, I'm a planner, too, so I appreciate that he wants to include me in planning fun things. But sometimes I just want to be surprised. And this has happened...never. Wes isn't the best at celebrating things, like birthdays and anniversaries, which I accept as part of who he is. But it would be nice, just every once in a while, to be truly surprised. Not a surprise party or a surprise trip to Hawaii or something big like that -- just, you know, elaborate flowers or he gets the babysitter and takes me out, or gets a special present I really wasn't expecting. I'm definitely the detail person at home, so perhaps it's just the desire to enjoy myself without having to handle every detail. And he does surprise me in small, fun ways, and we do lots of big, fun things together -- it's just sometimes you want one big surprise to carry the romance.
So let me reprise by saying, I love my husband. I really, really do. I could make a list ten or more times this long about the things I love about him (and perhaps I will for our upcoming anniversary). And I don't have to worry about him seeing this list (and maybe this is thing #6) because he never reads my blog :)
But...
There are just a few things he does (or, I note as I reread this, that he doesn't do) that drive me absolutely nuts. And I feel comfortable sharing these things because 1) I've told him (in some cases on numerous occasions) that they drive me nuts, 2) they aren't the big, serious challenges of our relationship that we persistently work on, and 3) they're really funny when you think about them, things I know shouldn't bother me but do, and so it's really more a commentary on me than him.
1. When Wes uses the sponges in the kitchen, he leaves them soggy. He doesn't rinse them, he doesn't squeeze them out, he doesn't put them on the drying rack to drip dry. He just leaves them, covered in debris or soggy with milk or whatever Oliver has recently spilled. And then they smell. And they're gross. And I mean, is it really that hard to squeeze out the ding-dang sponge before you leave them in the sink?
2. He is oblivious to many things. And sometimes I try to tell myself that it's because he's focused on something or because he's color blind and literally doesn't see it (like the crumbs on the counter that, even if they do get wiped, are left on the sponge in the sink!). When Oliver was a baby, Wes would change his diaper. Now that he's a toddler, Ollie can go five or six hours with Wes (on the rare occasion they're alone and together that long) without it occurring to Wes the kid might need a dry diaper. Really? He's also pretty slow to respond, which doesn't make sense to me given his personality (baseball pitcher, emergency room physician), but maybe that gets turned off once at home and in the face of a wife who can do the job (usually) equally as well.
3. He won't purge. Why, why do we have to keep years worth of random newspaper articles in the eaves? When we die, some grandchild of ours will inherit this box of random newspapers, and they'll think they're really neat and special, and then they'll sit in a box in their eaves or attic for another two generations. Wes knows my proclivity for clearing things out, so much so that he has a box upstairs marked, "Things Wes would prefer not be thrown away." Hmm, we'll see.
4. He has his own sense of time, which doesn't always make sense with the rest of the world. Wes is very much on time in his academic and professional life. He shows up to meetings on time, is present for things, meets his deadlines. But in his private and social life, not so much. I tell him dinner is ready and on the table, and he's there 20 minutes later. (I tell him I'm ready to have a baby, and a year and a half later I get pregnant...). At night, I say I'm going to bed, and he says, "Oh, I'm coming, too." So I lie down in bed but leave the door open. And 15 minutes later he's wandering in, then brushing his teeth and changing, then wanting to talk when he comes to bed. And suddenly it's an hour later than when I wanted to go to bed. And then he falls asleep two seconds after he decides to sleep, and I'm lying awake because I didn't fall asleep when I first laid down. (Okay, so I can see I have some bitterness here. Still.)
5. He doesn't do surprises. Now, I'm a planner, too, so I appreciate that he wants to include me in planning fun things. But sometimes I just want to be surprised. And this has happened...never. Wes isn't the best at celebrating things, like birthdays and anniversaries, which I accept as part of who he is. But it would be nice, just every once in a while, to be truly surprised. Not a surprise party or a surprise trip to Hawaii or something big like that -- just, you know, elaborate flowers or he gets the babysitter and takes me out, or gets a special present I really wasn't expecting. I'm definitely the detail person at home, so perhaps it's just the desire to enjoy myself without having to handle every detail. And he does surprise me in small, fun ways, and we do lots of big, fun things together -- it's just sometimes you want one big surprise to carry the romance.
So let me reprise by saying, I love my husband. I really, really do. I could make a list ten or more times this long about the things I love about him (and perhaps I will for our upcoming anniversary). And I don't have to worry about him seeing this list (and maybe this is thing #6) because he never reads my blog :)
2 comments:
This list is nothing compared to the list I could make about my husband, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. I'm sure he could make a list about me too. But you love in spite of these little things because what draws you to your man mean so much, go so deeply,and last a life time.
This cracks me up!! Love it! Maybe I should have my hubby read it?! :) My DH never reads my blog either.
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