Self City Tours

My parents are coming into town this weekend, and I got a funny email from my mom yesterday about their visit. To provide some context -- I am, for those who do not know this, a very type-A, plan-happy person. Hence, whenever we've had friends and family come into town, I've made an itinerary. It's always flexible and designed to include whatever our guests want to do, but it's there, on paper, nonetheless. When my sister Laura told my dad that I'd made an itinerary for her recent visit, he was amused -- evidently enough so to want one of his own.

Here's the email from them:

Ms. Self,

As our visit to your fair city draws close, Mr. Neiheisel requests a copy of the itinerary for his approval. He finds it a smear on your reputation of the finest customer service that said itinerary has not been seen prior to this request. However, I assured him that it is the busy time of the season; and, based on recommendation of other satisfied customers, he would find your tour company to be the best of Chicago.

One item that he hoped you had built into the schedule was proper rest and recuperation periods so that he can fully appreciate and enjoy all that he observes and in which he participates. Please advise if there are any wardrobe requirements. Also please provide directions to your establishment from O’Hare airport.

Thank you so much for time and attention to these matters.

Sincerely,
Mom!

PS Can’t wait to see you and Wes!!!!!

This was my response:

Mr. and Mrs. Neiheisel,

Thank you for your recent email regarding your confirmed visit from July 21-July 24. We at Self City Tours seek to satisfy all our visitors' needs during their visit here in Chicago. We apologize for the delay you have experienced in receiving your itinerary. Itinerary mailing was formerly the responsibility of our junior tour guide, Lucy Self. Your email brought her inaptitude in this part of her job description to our attention, and we have since demoted her to the position of greeter, which better suits her specific skills. We appreciate your patience as week seek to correct this oversight.

I have attached said itinerary for your persual and approval. Please email with any specific requests for changes or amendments. We have sought to meet your request for proper rest and recuperation periods. Laura Cook, the director of our Savannah office, went so far as to suggest company-mandated rest periods for guests 55 and older.

In order to assure your safe and easy travel into the city, one of our top tour guides will meet you at the airport just beyond the security gate. Look for her with a sign to greet you. She will also have CTA cards for your use while in the city.

We look forward to your arrival on Saturday morning. Please do not hesitate to contact us in the mean time with questions or concerns.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth Self
President and CEO
Self City Tours