Sadness, Confusion, and Hope

And maybe a baseball bat to beat the crap out of the guy who did it.

I don't often write about school on this blog, mostly because I can't write much without getting pretty specfic, which violates students' privacy rights. Plus, I don't want to write about anything that would reflect badly on the school since it is a great place that's working out its issues. But this is a personal issue -- though public at school -- and so I feel safe in sharing.

I learned on Monday that one of my students has just been released from the hospital after being brutally assaulted by her boyfriend. She has undergone reconstructive surgery on her face and is said to have had her spleen removed. This young woman's story eats at me for a variety of reasons, some obvious, others more personal.

A, as I'll call her, was a student in my advisory and had me for Humanities and writing last year. She was good-humored, outspoken, a leader, respectful to classmates and teachers, hard working, really conscientious, and just pretty smart. She caught on quick, revised work to improve it, and genuinely wanted to learn. Her older sister attended our school also and is now in college. A wants to be, of all things, in law enforcement. She's had problems in the past -- before my time at the school -- with drinking, drugs, sex, and missing huge chunks of school, but she's honest about those periods in her life and seemed really committed to changing -- and did, if last year was any indication. I didn't know she had a boyfriend, must less that he was older (than me), or the quality of their relationship. A came into school twice last year with bruises on her face (I only remember once, but another teacher remembers twice). Several teachers called home, and A met with the social worker. All said A had been in a fight with some others girls when the group tried to attack a friend of hers. The story and the injuries were consistent, and information was passed on to the proper authorities (as we are mandated reporters). Maybe because I didn't know she had a boyfriend, but I just never could have dreamed it was domestic abuse.

Clearly, A's situation makes me sad because a young girl -- maybe 17 -- has suffered something that will affect her for the rest of her life. She was on track to graduate in the spring with honors and attend college, probably with a scholarship. I don't know if that will happen now. The rumor is she's going to live with her mom out of Chicago for at least a while and as such will not be back to school in two weeks. Her circumstance confuses -- and frankly scares -- me even more. This is one of the strongest, most spirited of our students. If this can happen to her, who is spared? Who are these men who prey on young girls and do this to them? Why doesn't it ever end?

The only hope I have is that A's strength and support from family, friends, and the teachers at our school might help her through, give her what she needs to recover, physically and one day emotionally, and move forward. She so deserves, has worked for, and has been momentarily robbed of it.

Pray for her. Think of her. Send her your strength. Talk to your daughters -- and your sons. Model healthy relationships. And not as a plug but as an honest-to-goodness response to this, I'll share this -- if you are ever seeking an organization to make a charitable organization to, please let me know and consider making it -- large or small -- to my school (which is charter and therefore fundraises the supplementary funds that allow us to, for example, bring in speakers on domestic abuse). Yes, it has its problems, but it's doing such great things, too. For A, too.