900 Miles

Moving back to the southeast has created a dangerous dynamic for me. I'm close enough to friends and family to go and see them, but it's still a very long drive. My parents and mother-in-law are a reasonable three and four hours, respectively. My sister, who I'd prefer to be next door (but would never expect her to give up her beloved Savannah), is about seven hours away, with mom and dad's in between. My oldest brother is a safe day's drive away in south Florida. But my other brother, Jon, is about five hours west in North Carolina.

Such are the circumstances that led me to take an unprecedented road trip this weekend. Oliver and I took a long trip to North Carolina to attend my friend Kim's baby shower. It was over 450 miles each way. I knew it was going to be a long haul, but there was no hurry in either direction, so I figured we could stop if Oliver got cranky or needed time out of his car seat. He's always traveled well before, and he's a pretty easygoing guy, so I thought we'd do okay.

We got packed and left Friday morning around 8:30am. We dropped Wes off and work and hit the road. We went about 2 1/2 hours before I got really hungry, so we stopped at a Cracker Barrel on the west side of Knoxville. I had french toast, and Oliver had a scrambled egg. The place was filled with locals, mostly older ladies who, it appeared, breakfast together regularly. From there, we should have only had another 2 to 3 hours to Jon's place. Unfortunately, the exits on 26 had been renumbered, so I missed my exit and had to backtrack. Then I turned the wrong way off the exit (it seemed logical that I would go the opposite direction if I was coming off the interstate in the opposite direction, but alas that was not the case) and didn't realize it until I was well across town. I went towards Jonesborough when I should have gone towards Elizabethton. I did, however, get to see the lovely ETSU and use one of the nastiest bathrooms I've ever seen at a nearby BP station (I had to hold the door slightly open since the light didn't work, whilst trying to keep Oliver from touching anything). Eventually, thanks to a map from the gas station and a friendly lady who, upon seeing me with a map and a baby, correctly assumed I needed help, I got turned around and headed in the right direction. The detour added about an hour to the trip, but I did my best to keep my cool. After winding through some breathtaking views in the gray and drizzle, we finally reached some sun in Boone. Oliver and I had dinner with Jon at Macado's. Ollie tried some mac and cheese and applesauce from the kids' menu but spent most of the time flirting with other little girls in their high chairs. After dinner we went to where Jon boards his horse, Roo. Oliver loved the horse. He touched his nose, and Roo explored Ollie's hand a little with his lips. Ollie just giggled and giggled. After our visit, to Oliver's great dismay, we got back on the road for the final stretch of the trip. We finally made it to Winston-Salem at 8pm. Oliver happily explored the hotel room. It was hard getting him to go to bed at the hotel. I'd nurse him, put him in the Pack 'n Play, but then he'd get fussy, stand up, and start wailing. He ended up sleeping with me most of that night, for his one nap the next day, and part of the second night.

Saturday we spent the whole afternoon and evening at Kim's shower and, after, visiting with her and her family, especially her in-laws, whose house we were at. Kim's in-laws live at this beautiful house outside of Winston-Salem. The house itself is all naturally stained wood with a full wrap-around deck. The inside is very open with a spiral staircase in the middle that leads up to the second floor. The house and its surroundings have such a warmth to them, in part thanks to Luli's artwork (Luli is Kim's mother in law). Luli and her sister, Linda, are the founders of a group called Whimsical Women, who gather twice a year to sell handcrafted art. I wish I lived closer to visit one of their fairs! Luli and Jim, her husband, were so welcoming, and Luli and Linda took on Ollie so I could rest my arms for a while. Around the main house, Luli and Jim have a greenhouse, topped with solar panels that help power their house and warm their water, and a barn with three goats (two named Crunch 'n Munch) and two llamas. Plus there were three dogs and several cats at the shower. Oliver would've stayed forever if he could have, and I might have, too. Luli kindly offered to keep us for the night, but I couldn't subject the household to Oliver's bedtime protestations.

I loved getting to spend time with Kim. We met thirteen years ago at Governor's School and saw each other last during sophomore year of college. I've been following her pregnancy on her blog with great excitement, and it was fun to get to see her baby belly in person. We talked pregnancy, birthing, babies, marriage, writing, and future plans. I got meet Dean, her husband, and hear about her life in DC. I wish we'd had a whole weekend together, but both of us had traveled into town for the event and had lives to return to. Kim looks amazing and is obviously excited about the next phase of this process -- ie. a baby. She is still trying on names, and I love every one she's suggested. Luli and I talked about raising boys (she had two, and one named Oliver!), but I love that all my friends have been having girls. I get to live pink vicariously through them!

Alas, the day finally ended. Ollie and I checked out of the hotel and were on the road by 8:30am this morning. We went four hours before we stopped the first time. I wanted to get as much road behind us as possible before I sprung him from his car seat. That stretch of the trip was very nostalgic. I drove past exit signs for Galax and Independence, where Wes grew up. I found myself wishing that his family was still there, that we could pull off at that exit, head to Pine Mountain Road, and visit with his parents and siblings and the horses. I drove by Fort Chiswell, the exit we took to their house from Charlottesville. It's where we would roll down the car windows and let Lucy hang her head out, breathing in the country air and the rich smell of farms. I drove past exits for Grayson Highlands, where we hiked the day of our wedding. Everyone's gone from there now, and it's the way it has to be, but it still made me long for parts of the past. In my dream world, we would one day have a home there, maybe something we share with friends or family. It's such a part of Wes's identity, and I look forward to the day we can share it with our kids. I know Oliver will love the wild ponies in around Mt. Rogers.

We made a pit stop at a grungy McDonald's for lunch. Ollie had baby food and some french fries and a bite or two of my ice cream. We had to stop about 90 minutes later because a service light came on in the car, and I didn't know what it meant. Not half an hour later, with only about an hour left in the trip, Ollie got tired of being in his car seat. I tried to forge ahead, hoping he would fall asleep at some point, but the wailing persisted. We ended up stopping just 30 miles from home at some outlets near Lebanon. Oliver got some jean overalls in the 18-24 month size (we have jean overalls at every size, I think), and I found a jean skirt I'd been looking for all summer (why is it always hardest to find the basic items?). We walked around for over an hour. Ollie wasn't happy to get back in the car for the last leg, but I knew we were close.

Lucy was excited to have us home, and I was thrilled to see the paint job. The colors we picked out are just perfect. The rooms are so much lighter, softer. Unfortunately, we also came home to an empty house. Wes is off in Vermont for four days for a VA conference. Last time I talked to him, he was stuck in the Philly airport. His flight got cancelled when tornadoes swept through the area.

I'm going to another baby shower in three weeks, in Charlotte. Wes and I are talking tactics. I thought about flying, but it takes almost as long with getting there ahead of time, and driving makes it easier to stop when Ollie needs to and drag along all the things I might need but might not. I'm planning now on traveling about halfway and spending the night. That way we only have to drive about three hours each day.

I normally hate driving, but taking this trip with Ollie felt like an adventure. I know he won't remember it, but it feels like a feat for me as a mom.